


Gangrel's Bee Farm

by cawmrade, VampireSerana



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gen, M/M, Texting, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, also they're like 17-18, genderfluid morgan, group chat au, more ships r gonna come over the course of the fic lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 13:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12607816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cawmrade/pseuds/cawmrade, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireSerana/pseuds/VampireSerana
Summary: xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx: He hisses, his True Name Revealed in the light, it stung. “FOOL, THAT NAME HOLDS TOO MUCH POWER FOR YOUR MORTAL LIPS.”  He overcame the light with his dark shadow, shutting it out and overcoming the room with raw darkness.SexyBitch123: Owain just shut the fuck up





	1. hewwo? HEWWOOOOOO??

**Author's Note:**

> be the change you want to see in the world

_Gay Rights! added SexyDancer123, Dark Wyvern, NahBro, SexyBitch123, xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx,  TheBradster, ★HeroOfJustice★, The Fucking Strong, YiffYiff, Laurent, luCENA, BLOOD AND THUNDER! To GANGRELS BEE FARM_

 

_Chat Log Start: Sunday - 8:41 pm_

**Dark Wyvern:** Who the Fuck is xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx

 

 **Laurent:** Morgan, why do we need this.

 

 **YiffYiff:** Hewwo?? HEWWOOO?

 

 **SexyDancer123:** Hewwo?

 

 **Gay Rights!:** i thought it would be nice for us all to talk. together. in a chatroom called GANGRELS BEE FARM

 

 **Gay Rights!:** cuz thats what friends do

 

 **luCENA:** I was not aware everyone else had a skype, why didn’t you tell me before?

 

 **Laurent:** Well, don’t expect me to be involved with this nonsense.

 

 **SexyBitch123:** Who thought this was a good idea

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** The night whispers to only the darkened one, “The Great Odin Dark is himself, and himself only.” He hides in the shadows. The darkness of his soul blending in well. He debates revealing his presence to the other souls in the room, knowing that if he did he would be met me disaster. All he can do is hide himself in the shadows, watching the normies from afar.

 

 **SexyDancer123:** KDAKDKSKDKSKDKSKS ITS OWAIN

 

 **Dark Wyvern:** ...Why is your name SexyDancer123

 

 **SexyDancer123:** ;3c

 

 **SexyBitch123:** We’re twinning ;)

 

 **TheBradster:** What would your mother say about objectifying yourself like this?

 

 **luCENA:** Who is twinning with Whomst?

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** W H O M  S T

 

 **YiffYiff:** owo?

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** This is ridiculous

 

 **NahBro:** ….you’re name is The Fucking Stronf and you’re calling them ridiculous?

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** Stronf

 

 **SexyDancer123:** Stronf

 

 **TheBradster:** Strong

 

 **TheBradster:** String

 

 **TheBradster:** STRONF

 

 **SexyBitch123:** wow, so pathetic you can’t even type the typo right

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** he’s trying his best!

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** He hisses, his True Name Revealed in the light, it stung. _“FOOL, THAT NAME HOLDS TOO MUCH POWER FOR YOUR MORTAL LIPS.”_  He overcame the light with his dark shadow, shutting it out and overcoming the room with raw darkness.

 

 **SexyBitch123:** Owain just shut the fuck up

 

_YiffYiff changed xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx to OwOain_

 

 **SexyDancer123:** haha furry owain

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** uh… hi?

 

 **OwOain:** YOU FOOL

 

 **OwOain:** YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE GREAT ODIN DARK?

 

 **SexyBitch123:** Yes

 

 **YiffYiff:** Yes.

 

 **SexyDancer123:** yea lmao

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** The bonds of friendship have never been stronger.

 

 **TheBradster:** all y’all are so rude

 

 **Laurent:** See. I told you this was a bad idea.

 

_SexyDancer123 changed Laurents name to SlutBoi69_

 

 **SlutBoi69:** Excuse me?

 

 **Gay Rights!:** KFSAJ;KSJFD;LASJDFHBAFNM

 

 **SexyDancer123:** tjhere now u fit in !

 

 **SexyBitch123:** tjhere

 

 **Dark Wyvern:** can i leave

 

 **Gay Rights!:** no

 

_Dark Wyvern has left the chat_

 

_Gay rights added Dark Wyvern to the chat_

 

 **Gay Rights!:** no escape

 

 **SexyDancer123:** gerome u should match me and severa

 

_SexyDancer123 changed Dark Wyvern name to SexyWyvern123_

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** CHANGE IT BACK

 

 **SexyBitch123:** We Are All Sexy123

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** Oh!!!!! Ohhhh!!!!! Can I be SexyHero123!!!!

  
  
**SexyBitch123:** Cynthia, sweetie, you’re too cute to be sexy

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** :(

 

 **NahBro:** Morgan you cant force us to stay in this chat

 

 **Gay Rights!:** yes i can

 

 **Gay Rights!:** fear the power

 

 **Gay Rights!:** the power of grangels bees

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** k

 

 **Gay Rights!:** please don’t hurt me kjelle

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** k

 

 **NahBro:** you’re scaring them

 

 **luCENA:** I leave for 5 minutes. 5. Also inigo you left your shoes in the middle of the floor again and i tripped over them :(

 

 **SexyDancer123:** lmao sowwy u-u

 

 **YiffYiff:** INIGO YOURE A FURRY TOO?????????  >:3c

 

 **SexyDancer123:** NO JASJSKS

 

 **YiffYiff:** ITs okay nah is a furry too

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Inigo’s a furry

 

 **NahBro:** I’m a wot

 

 **YiffYif:** yer a furry Nah

 

 **SexyDancer123:** stfu ur a scaly and so is nah

 

 **NahBro:** nah bro

 

_YiffYiff changed SexyWyvern123’s name to Bad Dragon Dildo_

 

 **Bad Dragon Dildo:** Kjelle wanna do me a solid

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** hmmm...

 

 **YiffYiff:** PLEASE DONT HURT ME I AM BUT A SMOL RABBIT U-U

 

_YiffYiff changed Bad Dragon Dildo’s name to SexyWyvern123_

 

 **YiffYiff:** :^ (

 

_OwOian changed their name to xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx_

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Odin Dark stores his power, his DARK power, he bides his time until the moon is nigh, and summons the demons and fiends of the night. “I SHALL RECLAIM MY TITLE!” With a flourish of his cape, he signals for the RAW DARK TRANSMUTATION of his VERY OWN NAME!!!!1!!! “NEVER AGAIN I SHALL BE REFERRED TO *scoffs* OwOian. PAH. ONLY A REAL MAN AND BEQUEATH SUCH A STRONG TITLE, THE MANTLE OF……..

 

xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx!”

 

*thunder crashes*

 

*lightning flashes*

 

“You….’YiffYiff’…. SHALL….PERISSSSHHHHHH”

 

****

 

 **TheBradest:**  Did you type that in notes then copy paste it

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** mayhaps

 

 **luCENA:** THEN PERISH

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** okay i’m going to bed right

 

 **SexyDancer123** : it’s 930?????

 

 **The Bradster:** what a loser LOL

 

 **SexyBitch123:**....youre name is the bradster

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** Goodnight Kjelle!!!!!! ilu!!!!!!!!!! Sleep well!

 

 **SexyDancer123:** lmao ur gay is showing

 

 **Gay Rights!:** you called?

 

_Gay Rights! changed SexyDancer123’s name to Cishet_

 

 **Cishet:** this is biphobia to the extreme

 

_Cishet changed their name to SexyDancer123_

 

_Gay Rights! changed SexyDancer123’s name to Cishet_

 

_Cishet changed their name to SexyDancer123_

 

 **SexyDancer123:** STOP YOU FUCKING BIPHOBIC BITCH

 

 **SexyBitch123:** are you trying to destroy our bonded twinship?

 

 **Gay Rights!:** fine

 

 **YiffYiff:** im going to bed nite! uwu

 

 **SexyDancer123:** bye furry

 

 **NahBro:** goodnight my brother in arms

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** sleep well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **luCENA:** cynthia ur too good for this world

 

 **luCENA:** also inigo can you shut the fuck up i can hear you bitching from downstairs

 

 **SexyDancer123:** no gerome keeps trying to tell me that yugioh is better than beyblade

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** because … it is….

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** (◍ ´꒳` ◍)

 

 **NahBro:** well pokemon is better than all of those so….

 

 **luCENA:** whatever im going to bed all of u stop talking

 

 **NahBro:** yes ur majesty

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** its only 10:30 you all are WEAK

 


	2. inigos hot mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> inigo and lucina's hot mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "this is the best thing weve ever done.  
> and thats saying something" -astra

Chat Log Start: Monday - 2:46 AM

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER:** Uh… is anyone still up?

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Under the waning moon, a striking blonde figure appears, it turns to see who approaches, the meek girl cowering in the presence… the presence of Odin Dark. “State your business for being up at such an ungodly hour, mortal.”

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** The ‘meek’ girl chuckles, and straightens to her full height, oozing a powerful aura honed from years of training in the dark arts. “I am up at such an hour, for I am the one who strikes such terror in the gods, a terror so great they must flee when i reach my maximum potential.” She eyed down Odin, a man notorious for his not only power but for his intellect. For what reason would be so important that he, a man with such tremendous power, would enter her domain? 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** “You’ve grown better at concealing your presence, Thunder Goddess.” The moonlight glistened on his skin, the closest thing to warmth he could feel in such enveloping darkness. The darkness...no matter how many times he tried to escape its icy grip, he was beckoned back into the void. “I felt… a presence calling for me… could it perhaps be…” he traced his lips with his fingers. “No.. Impossible…”

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** ((I’ve been trying to sleep but i keep refreshing gaia instead lol OTL))

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** She approached the Great Odin Dark, feeling the unyielding darkness beckoning her to lose her what little was left of her humanity. ”Odin, could it be? The olden legends of yore coming true?”  

((oh rip @-@ i woke up to use the bathroom but i cant go back to sleep now o…….rz))

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** ((wait- gaia is still up???))

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** ((YES IT IS STILL UP I USE IT DAILY))

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** ((all of my rp buddies moved to tumblr years ago omgggg you want me to log into my old account and rp with you again))

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** ((that would be amazing ^u^))

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** ((im getting sleepy again im gonna go back to sleep, pm me on gaia sometime its NordicL0re and we can work on a plot or somethin!!))

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** ((oh damn ur right its late i dont wanna worry my mom and wake up at like noon thirty lol xD nite!!!))

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** ((sweet dreams~!!))

 

Chat Log Start: Monday - 6:43am

 

**SexyDancer123:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Why couldn’t you all just say what was in double parentheses, like normal people

 

**luCENA:** I was wondering what could make inigo laugh so hard that it would wake me up, and im glad im not dissapointed

 

**SexyDancer123:** I woke up before lucy? On a school day? The world is ending.   
  


**luCENA:** theres no school today you idiot its a teacher development day

 

**SexyDancer123:** woops lol

 

**SexyDancer123:** wait then why is kjelle up

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I always wake up at 4am to go running with my mom

 

**SlutBoi69:** It would be in everyones best interest to wake up at a consistent hour everyday, as constant sleep prevents a host of mental illnesses and promotes over all good health

 

**SlutBoi69:** Wait, why is my name still like this.

 

**SexyDancer123:** because your a slut boy lol

 

**TheBradster:** idk why you guys are making funna noire and owian they both are really good writers 

 

_ SexyDancer123 changed TheBradster’s name to Peanut Butter Baby _

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** Oi, so thats how its going to be 

 

_ Peanut Butter Baby changed their name to TheBradster _

_ TheBradster changed SlutBoi69’s name to Laurent _

_ TheBradster changed SexyDancer123’s name to EternalChasity _

 

**Eternal Chastity:** EXCUSE ME??????

 

_ EternalChasity changed TheBradster’s name to Peanut Butter Baby _

 

**System Message:** Nickname functioned locked to non-moderators due to overuse. To return nicknaming function to lower tier members, ask moderators to regrant the permission.

 

**EternalChasity:** FUCK

 

**EternalChasity:** I DIDNT GET TO CHANGE MY NAME BACK

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** at least it finally reflects ya personality 

 

**EternalChasity:** same to you, peanut butter baby

 

**Laurent:** Thank you Brady for your sacrifice.

 

**Laurent** : … Could someone enlighten me to what exactly IS a peanut butter baby.

 

**EternalChasity** : omg u havent seen that vine before

 

**EternalChasity:** just look up peanut butter baby vine lol

 

**Laurent:** Brady I’m afraid I must agree with Inigo on this

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** MORGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

**EternalChasity:** SEE YOU REALLY ARE A FUCKING BABY LOL

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** shut up ya virgin

 

**EternalChasity:** excuse me i get ALL the pussy

 

**luCENA:** inigo if you ever say that again im going to rip holes in all of your socks

 

**EternalChasity:** fuck i forgot ur here sis

 

**Nahbro:** can you people SHUT UP im trying to sleep and the spam woke me up >:(

 

**luCENA:** sorry nah!!!!!   
  


**luCENA:** also, inigo hasnt even had his first kiss yet LOL

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** REALLY

 

**Nahbro:** that much was obvious. 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I would be more surprised if he did

 

**Gay Rights!:** haha did you guys fuck up ur nicknames?

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** MORGAN CHANGE MY NAME BACK

 

**EternalChasity:** give us permission morgan 

 

**EternalChasity:** also dont u agree brady is the peanut butter baby

 

**Gay Rights!:** ya i can see it

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** MORGAN 

 

**EternalChasity:** SEE

 

**EternalChasity:**

****

**EternalChasity:** i see no difference between you two

 

**SexyWyvern123:** what the fuck are you nerds yelling about at 7 in the fucking morning

 

**EternalChasity:** wow someones grumpy…

 

**SexyWyvern123:** youre new name is much more accurate

 

**EternalChasity:** fucK OFF 

 

**EternalChasity:** AS IF YOU ALL ARENT VIRGINS EITHER

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** you just admitted you were one tho

 

**EternalChasity:** FUCK

 

**SexyWyvern123:** was there any doubt that he was?

 

**SexyWyvern123:** just yesterday he tried to tell some girl that he she danced with him she’d instantly fall in love

 

**SexyWyvern123:** and then proceeded to do the macarena

 

**EternalChasity:** it was A JOKE

 

**EternalChasity:** ITS JOKE

 

**EternalChasity:**

****

 

**Nahbro:** are you so much of a loser that you actually play and reference love live

 

**EternalChasity:** you recognized it

 

**Nahbro:** because i taught myself red flags to watch out for 

**Nahbro:** love live is one of them

 

**luCENA:** inigo is actually a pretty good dancer

 

**luCENA:** mom taught him since like . birth lol 

 

**EternalChasity:** im nowhere near as good as her tho aha

 

**luCENA:** yea?? ur amazing tbh

 

**SexyWyvern123:** i would like to see it

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** actually yea ive never seen inigo dance tbh

 

**EternalChasity:** and u never will

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** that’s not fair!

 

**The Fucking Strong:** you should give us a performance!

 

**Nahbro:** holy shit i wanna see inigo dance

 

**Nahbro:** ill be surprised if he doesnt fall on his ass lmao

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** wait so can you dance too lucy? 

 

**luCENA:** uhh im not that great

 

**EternalChasity:** shes literally the worst

 

**EternalChasity:** mom tried to teach her how to do basic steps and she fucking fell flat on her face

 

**luCENA:** THEY WERE HARD STEPS

 

**EternalChasity:** they were child beginner level luce

 

**luCENA:** REGARDLESS THEY WERE STILL DIFFICULT

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** I see more of us are awake!

 

**EternalChasity:** owain?? speaking normally??? am i seeing things or???

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** I am suppressing the spirit of the Great Odin Dark! However, the one you know as Owain has his own struggles to face… his wild sword hand! That he cannot con

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** shit i hit enter to early

 

**EternalChasity:** you fail even at roleplaying

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** also while were on the subject of inigo and lucys mom

 

**EternalChasity:** were not

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** has anyone told u guys ur mom is hot

 

**EternalChasity:** not this shit again 

 

**EternalChasity:** if you say my mom is hot one more time im gonna take ur sword hand and cut it off

 

**luCENA:** what

 

**luCENA:** hes said this before

 

**luCENA:** also i agree with inigo dont tell us our mom is hot

 

**EternalChasity:** she is the most beautiful woman in the world but shes not hot

 

**luCENA:** ^^ what he said

 

**NahBro:** inigo im going to kinkshame the ever loving fuck out of you

 

**luCENA:** kink? Shame? 

 

**EternalChasity:** oKAY LETS CHANGE THE TOPIC

 

**EternalChasity:** for example: why the fuck is this my name still this

 

**Gay Rights!:** i like the change

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** couldja at least make someone else a mod

 

**Gay Rights!:** oh okay fine   
  


_ Gay Rights! has promoted Laurent to moderator status _

_ Gay Rights! has promoted The Fucking Strong to moderator status  _

  
  


**EternalChasity** : THE WORST PEOPELE TO MAKE MODS OH  MY GOD

 

**The Fucking Strong:** are you sure you want to say that?

 

**SexyBitch123:** absolute power corrupts absolutely

 

**SexyBitch123:** i mean.. look what they did. they corrupted our sacred twinship

 

**SexyBitch123:** now i just look like an idiot

 

**NahBro:** you looked like an idiot even when your name matched

 

**Laurent:** So, what exactly can a moderator do?

 

**SexyBitch123:** KELLJE BAN HER! 

 

**SexyBitch123:** KJELLE BAN HER FROM GANGRELS BEE FARM!!

 

**The Fucking Strong:** No.

 

**Laurent:** I can ban?

 

**EternalChasity:** see this is what i meant lmao

 

**GayRights!:** well i did it so you and owain wouldnt spam the chat with name changes

 

**EternalChasity:** no we woooonttt

 

**EternalChasity:** mooorgaannn

 

**EternalChasity:** MOOORRRGANN MAKE ME A MOD

 

**EternalChasity:** YOUR BIPHOBIA IS SHOWING AGAIN

 

_ Gay Rights! Removed EternalChasity from the group _

 

__

DM Log Start - 8:14am between Future Stripper (Inigo) and Rude Bitch (Morgan)

__

**Future Stripper:** ADD ME BACK YOU COWARD

__

**Rude Bitch:** ;3c

__

**Future Stripper:** FINE then dont keep me in ur little club then

__

**Future Stripper:** i wont let u use my employee discount at hooters anymore

__

**Rude Bitch:** ive gone there once and its because you dragged me there

__

**Future Stripper:** BUT I WONT LET YOU USE IT

__

**Rude Bitch:** Ill add u back when u learn how to behave

__

**Future Stripper:** wtf r u my dad now? 

__

**Rude Bitch:** ur dad is a good man i take that as a compliment

__

**Future Stripper:** well okay POPS 

__

**Future Stripper:** r u gonna add me back now lol

  
**Rude Bitch:** sure son as long as you do the dishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the names used in the dms r their names in each others phones lol


	3. y'all ever ridden a horse high?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drugs ahead be warned kiddos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we call this one "weed and bullying inigo"

_Cockslut (Inigo) to Gerome <3 _

 

 **Cockslut:** Gerome.

 

 **Cockslut:** Geeeerrrooooommeee

 

 **Cockslut:** GEROOOMEEEE

 

 **Cockslut:** G

 

 **Cockslut:** E

 

 **Cockslut:** R

 

 **Cockslut:** O

 

 **Gerome <3:** what

 

 **Cockslut:** M

 

 **Cockslut:** E

 

 **Gerome <3: **WHAT.

 

 **Cockslut:** add me baaackkkk

 

 **Gerome <3: **Talk to Morgan.

 

 **Cockslut:** pleeeasseee theyre being rude

 

 **Gerome <3: **Too bad then.

 

 **Cockslut:** thats not faaairrr

 

 **Gerome <3:** why are you so whiny?

 

 **Cockslut:** you know you love me, you emo bitch <3

 

 **Gerome <3:** … Keep telling yourself that

 

 **Cockslut:** whatever just add me back or i’ll keep spamming you

 

 **Gerome <3: **The block button is free for me to use.

 **Cockslut:** GEROME NO

 

 **Cockslut:** don’t make me call your house…

 

 **Gerome <3:** Fine.

 

 **Cockslut:** ;*

 

_Chat Log Start - Monday 4:20 pm_

 

_SexyWyvern123 added EternalChasity to the group_

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** There, now stop spamming me.

 

 **EternalChasity:** haha 420 blaze it

 

 **SexyBitch123:** inigo the last time you smoked weed you coughed up ur lung after like a hit

 

 **EternalChasity:** YOU MADE ME CLEAR IT AND U KILLED ME

 

 **YiffYiff:** lmaoo ur lungs are weak dancer boy

 

 **luCENA:** you deserve it inigo that’s what you get for smoking

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** smoking is terrible for you

 

 **EternalChasity:** fuck off moms

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** im w/ lucy and kjelle

 

 **EternalChasity:** thats bc u cant smoke u fucking asthmatic

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** fuck off at least my lungs will work in the future

 

 **EternalChasity:** except...they dont … already

 

 **SexyBitch123:** you have fucking asthma they dont work, like your brain

 

 **YiffYiff:** smoking is fun UwU

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** so is Not Dying

 

 **YiffYiff:** weed doesnt kill you! OwO It actually has many health benefits!

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** LISTEN HERE PAL

 

 **SexyBitch123:** ddid u say something? I dont have fucking ears

 

 **EternalChastity:** its true here’s a pic of her

 

**EternalChastity:**

 

 **SexyBitch123:** I HATE THAT PICTURE

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** what the fuck do you people do in your spare time?

 

 **EternalChasity:** just give it red pigtails and it’s you

 

 **YiffYiff:** lol u guys made me want a hit so i just smoked up whats up

 

 **SexyBitch123:** youre such a fucking stoner dude

 

 **EternalChasity:** a stoner furry

 

 **YiffYiff:** OwO *puff puff*

 

 **EternalChasity:** dont ever make me read that again

 

 **SexyBitch123:** i mean its 420 somewhere

 

 **YiffYiff:** also

 

**YiffYiff:**

 

 **EternalChasity:** JDLSJFKDKLJFDSKJL LOOK ITS U SEVERA

 

 **SexyBitch123:** eat shit both of you

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Hey y’all what’s cookin’?

 

 **SexyBitch123:** OHHM YG FUCKGIN GOD

 

 **SexyBitch123:** THIS IS THE LAMEST RP YOU;VE EVER DONE

 

 **SexyBitch123:** AND THATS FUCKIGN SAYING SOMETHING

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** I beg yer parden? What in tarnation is an “RP”? Is it one of those newfangled farming things?

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** um……. Mr.Tinhead? Is that you?

 

 **EternalChasity:** OWAINS LAST NAME IS FUCKING TINHEAD?

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Yessirrie! Gosh, is this too weird for y’all? Don’t wanna tample on yer petunias or nothin’.

 

 **SexyBitch123:** how long. Have you known him, ARENT YOU FUCKING COUSINS OR SOME SHIT

 

 **EternalChasity:** I ALWAYS JUST CALL HIM UNCLE DONNY AND AUNTY LISSA NOT FUCKING MR AND MRS TINHEAD??????????????????????????????????????/

 

 **luCENA:** OH MY GOD WHY IS UNCLE DONNY HERE

 

 **luCENA:** ALSO STOP SWEARING INIGO

 

 **luCENA:** YOU TOO SEVERA

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** This ain’t my first rodeo y’all

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** All y’all must’ve forgotten that I was a youngin like y’all not too long ago, shoot, I still cuss up a storm sometimes when I’m all by my lonesome.

 

 **SexyBitch123:** sooo.. I DONT have to change my name? cuz, i dont wanna ruin me and Inigos SACRED TWINSHIP

 

 **EternalChasity:** except its gone because SOMEONE wont change my fucking name back…………….

 

 **SexyBitch123:** ITS THERE IN SPIRIT

 

 **YiffYiff:** i mean… u have it w/ gerome UwU

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Like I said, I don’t wanna step all in yer flower garden, if y’all want me to leave I’m more than happy ta.

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** We do not.

 

 **SexyBitch123:** not at all lol

 

 **SexyBitch123:** im not stealing from inigo lol

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** … I beg your pardon?

 

 **luCENA:** I mean, its always nice talking to you but

 

 **EternalChasity:** ANYWAYS WHATS UP UNCLE DONNY

 

 **luCENA:** perhaps not like. This.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** D’awww. Lil’ Lucy that done there warmed my lil country heart like tinder to a campfire.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Hey is that my lil’ dancer? What in tarnation happened to yer name?

 **EternalChasity:** your son happened

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Well! At least you two are gettin’ along.

 

 **luCENA:** so uh, uncle Donny, why are you on Owain’s phone?

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Oh, he just happened to leave it on the table when he left. Then it started chirpin’ at me. So I reckond’ I’d take a gander.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Seein’ y’all having a good time and talkin’ about weed makes me remember my days as a youngin’

 

 **SexyBitch123:** um…… you know we aren;t taking about like, garden weeds right? Like, we arent rolling up dandelions or some shit?

 

 **EternalChasity:** YES WE ARE SHUT UP SEVERA

 

 **YiffYiff:** this weed ain’t the same kinda weed on your farm, Mr. Tinhead.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Awwww, you don’t gotta hide it. We had all kinda weeds at my farm! Espcially, the smokin’ kind.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Have you ever ridden a horse while flyin’ higher than a sparrow? HOT DOOOOG! Is that one heller a ‘xperience

 

 **SexyBitch123:** DJKSDKJL HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCCCKKK

 

 **SexyBitch123:** Owain turning out like this makes so much sense now

 

 **EternalChasity:** UNCLE DONNY OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD

 

 **luCENA:** uncle donny this is one of those things i wish i have never wish you had told me, along with all your wild pig stories

 

 **YiffYiff:** this is either the best day of my life or my weed was laced with something else

 

 **SexyBitch123:** what the fuck are the pig stories.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** You love those stories and you know it.

 

 **luCENA:** you don’t want to know.

 

 **EternalChasity:** please don’t tell the pig stories uncle donny

  


**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Shoot, I lost track of the time, I gotta go get grocceries ‘fore Lissa blows a gasket.

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Take care now y’all, and it was nice chewin’ the fat with my favorite niece and nephew!  <3

 

 **luCENA:** I missed talking to you too, have a good day uncle donny  <3

 

 **EternalChasity:** come over some time when aunt lissa comes to visit!

 

 **YiffYiff:** ...what the fuck just happened OwO?

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** ….

 

 **The Fucking Strong:**....

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** well that was certainly something

 

 **EternalChasity:** i cant wait for owain to see this shit lmao

 

 **EternalChasity:** anyways uncle donny’s stories make me wanna throw a party

 

 **luCENA:** you are not throwing a party.

 

 **EternalChasity:** WHY

 

 **luCENA:** dad would murder you??

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** really? Let him throw it then, lucy.

 

 **EternalChasity:** HEY

 

l **uCENA:** Don’t call me lucy.

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Everyone else does

 

 **luCENA:** the only people allowed to call me lucy is my family and a Select Few. you are not one of them

 

 **luCENA:** unless you somehow because family

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Fine.

 

 **EternalChasity:** OKAY SO whos house can we have it at then?

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** who said we were having a party to begin with?

 

 **EternalChasity:** Me Bitch.

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** Uh,... hey guys… .did i miss anything?

 

 **EternalChasity:** WAIT NOIRE

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** uuuh… yyess??

 

 **EternalChasity:** YOURE HOME ALONE A LOT, RIGHT?

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** I guess so…?

 

 **luCENA:** you are not taking advantage of Noire’s empty house, Inigo

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** I mean… I guess we could…..

 

 **SexyBtich123:** OH NO, YOU ARENOT GONAN POTENTIALLY GET NOIRE IN TROUBLE

 

 **YiffYiff:** yea Noire’s mom is fucking scary….

 

 **luCENA:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Agreed.

 

 **EternalChasity:** ah, but theres a key word: “potentially”

 

 **EternalChasity:** cant u burn some like, idk what smells like weed. Poututili shit?

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** ooooorrr…. Just don’t fucking smoke in Noire’s house?

 

 **YiffYiff:** we can always smoke outside!  >:3c

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** you mean patchouli, right? She burns that a lot actually

 

 **EternalChasity:** SEE???? SEE???? Just a regular ol’ day in the werido cult house (no offence noire we love you)

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** <3

 

 **SexyBitch123:** are you sure ur okay with this noire? You can always tell inigo to go fuck himself

 

 **EternalChasity:** D:

 

 **luCENA:** I encourage you to tell inigo to go fuck himself

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Go fuck yourself, Inigo.

 

 **EternalChasity:** LUCY!!!!!!

 

 **EternalChasity:** GEROME!!!!!!!!

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** Lucy be a dear and punch him for me

 

 **luCENA:** I SPECIFICALLY wont punch inigo JUST because you called me lucy

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** fine i’ll come over and punch him myself

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** i’ll come too

 

 **EternalChasity:** NO YOU WONT

 

 **luCENA:** kjelle u should actually come over i wanna watch that movie we were meaning to watch for like two weeks

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** sure ill leave right now

 

 **luCENA:** okay!!

 

 **EternalChasity:** YOURE NOT GOING TO TRY TO PROTECT YOUR BROTHER???

 

 **luCENA:** no

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** I’m on my way over rn

 

 **EternalChasity:** WHAT

 

 **SexyWyvern123:** you think i was joking?

 

 **EternalChasity:** YES

 

 **EternalChasity:** DONT COME OVER TO PUNCH ME

 

 **SexyBitch123:** haha he’s coming to *pound* you….

  
**EternalChasity:** SCREAMS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi donnys last name is canonically Tinhead we didn't make that shit up http://fireemblem.wikia.com/wiki/Donnel


	4. bad dragon dildo extravaganza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we;re naming this chapter the same wa y youtubers name youtube videos

_Chat Log Start: Tuesday - 11:01am_

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** Gee! Sure looks like a lot happened yesterday!

 

 **EternalChasity:** well ya i dont know how u missed all that

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** I think i was at the mall with Laurent and Morgan at the time! Heros have lives outside of their phones!

 

 **EternalChasity:** omg you and morgan??? And LAURENT??? AT THE MALL???

 

 **Gay Rights!:** well we both thought it that the justice cabal should take laurent out for an afternoon and show him what its like to relax for one

 

 **Gay Rights!:** get that stick out of his ass for once

 

 **Laurent:** Well, I certainly enjoyed myself, execpt for those parts where we ducked in fear  from your mother

 

 **Gay Rights!:** gods dont remind me

 

 **Gay Rights!:** its all fun and games until you are volen-told to help out in one of the various stores we own

 

 **Gay Rights!:** so many fun times at the mall… ruined….. by mother….

 

 **EternalChasity:** how many stores does ur mom even OWN?

 

 **Gay Rights!:** SHE owns a couple but her sisters… holy fuck her sisters… they’re everywhere… and they all know me

 

 **YiffYiff:** oh yea don’t they all also like… have the same name…

 

 **EternalChasity:** wtf how do u even know which ones ur mom

 

 **Gay Rights!:** ya they all look the same too

 

 **Gay Rights!:** idk i just do lol

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** well!!!! she always buys us lunch afterwards so!!!! Its not TOO bad!!!

 

 **YiffYiff:** i wish we all had your cheery, rose tinted glasses

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** if i had tinted glasses, they’d be yellow!!!

 

 **YiffYiff:** also sorry for not being able to come with you to the mall and ditching justice cabel duties, my mom wanted me to spend time with her :/

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** hey guys im gonna spare the theatrics but WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS

 

 **Gay Rights!:** yeah what the fuck DID go on yesterday????

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** “Peh!” Odins’ DARK DEVICE , CONNECTOR TO THE UNHOLY-

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** oh yeah i was dropping this lol xD

 

 **YiffYiff:** it seems like the omnipresent owain cant keeps tabs on his phone

 

 **EternalChasity:** OWAIN I CANT BELIEVE UR LAST NAME IS TINHEAD

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** inigo ive known you all my literal life

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** also fuck you yarne i have so much dirt on you i wouldnt even know where to start digging up first

 

 **YiffYiff:** …. Like? OwO?

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** those furry porn rps i found on ur laptop once…. The bad dragon dildo extravaganza ….. That $365 commission you did to that one artist…. The list goes on

 

 **YiffYiff:** YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF THIS. NONE. IN FACT THAT NEVER HAPPENED AND YOU ARE JUST A MAD MAN RAMBLING INTO THE WIND!!!

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** oh? All these screenshots? And copies? In the folder labeled: “yarne receipts 2015-present”?

 

 **YiffYiff:** WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS EVER AGAIN

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**

  

 

 **SexyBitch123:** WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR BACKGROUND LMAOOO

 

 **YiffYiff:** 2008?????????????????????? Wtf was I DOING IN 2008??

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** you know what you did you FIEND

 

 **EternalChasity:** Horny Virgin Nerd Owain back at it again

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** like you can talk

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** play boy bunny of the month is your typical homescreen AND desktop bg

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** its listed in YOUR receipts folders somewhere

 

 **EternalChasity:** not ANYMORE

 

 **EternalChasity:** im a new man now

 

 **luCENA:** ya its something gay now

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** what is it???

 

 **EternalChasity:** secret

 

 **NahBro:** his secret furry porn

 

 **YiffYiff:** <O> W <O>

 

 **EternalChasity:** DONT YOUF UCKIGN DARE NAH

 

 **EternalChasity:** DONT ROPE ME INTO UR BULLSHIT

 

 **NahBro:** jk

 

 **EternalChasity:** YOU CANT JUST “””””JK””””” AND EXPECT EVERYTHING TO BE BETTER

 

 **NahBro:** ya

 

 **luCENA:** btw its a picture of his crush

 

 **luCENA:** if it was furry porn i would toss his phone into a trash compactor

 

 **EternalChasity:** SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **EternalChasity:** stfu lucy

 

 **luCENA:** oh stop whining i wont say who

 

 **luCENA:** its pretty obvious anyway lol

 

 **EternalChasity:** ….is it

 

 **luCENA:** yes

 

 **SexyBitch123:** ya u gay fuck

 

 **Gay Rights!:** its ok inigo me and owain have An Idea

 

 **EternalChasity:** no you dont

 

 **Gay Rights!:** It’s a good plan! Were setting u up w/ ur one true love

 

 **EternalChasity:** last time you tried to set someone up it ended in a hospital visit

 

 **Gay Rights!:** We learn from our mistakes!

 

 **Gay Rights!:** plus i know both of u pretty well lol

 

 **EternalChasity:** STOP GIVING AWAY HINTS

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Yes! The fruits of our combine intellect can see past all barriers! For NOTHING can get past the bond between me and my eternal ally-versary! Together, we shall uncover both the hidden truths and tear apart every ill intended lie! Inigo! Fear not! We shall unite you and your love in holy matrimony!  

 

 **EternalChasity:** how about we don’t do that

 

 **SexyBitch123:** I still say you give him a lapdance

 

 **EternalChasity:** NO THATS EVEN WROSE

 

 **luCENA:** inigo dont you dare lapdance anyone thats a Command from your big sister

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** C’mon me and Morgan are putting effort into this. Effort!!! Let us do our mastermind thing and be happy. And gay. >:D

 

 **Nahbro** : wai t so who does inigo have a crush on? Does he go to our school? Do we know him.

 

 **EternalChasity:** a dog

 

 **YiffYiff:** I KNEW IT YOU ARE A FURRY!!!!!

 

 **NahBro:** so u have a crush on yarne?

 

 **EternalChasity:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS JOKING!!!!!

 

 **EternalChasity:** sorry yarne ilu but not like that

 

 **YiffYiff:** im a rabbit and its chill i dont like you like that either B3

 

 **Nahbro:** sorry lol

 

 **EternalChasity:** OKAY thank god

 

 **Gay Rights!:** Anyways!

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** Inigo.

 

 **EternalChasity:** Brady.

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** im outside ur house

 

 **EternalChasity:** what

 

 **EternalChasity:** why are you here

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** because im bored and ma is on my ass about violin lessons and ur house is the closest

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** im inside ur house now lucy let me in im coming to ur room

 

 **EternalChasity:** I AM LOCKING MY DOOR AND SHOVING A CHAIR UNDER THE KNOB  I DONT WANNA SEE UR UGLY ASS TODAY

 

 **SexyBitch123:** inigo we’re supposed to have spa day today

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** can I come???

 

 **SexyBitch123:** NO THIS IS ME AND INIGO BONDING TIME

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** seriously let me in

 

 **EternalChasity:** fine

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** brady

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** brady i need to ask you something

 

 **luCENA:** give them a minute inigo just tackled brady to the floor

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** INIGO HES FRAGILE

 

 **EternalChasity** : im sorry i knocked him unconscious

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** INIGO IM COMING OVER TO YOUR HOUSE TO KICK YOUR ASS AND SAVE BRADY

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** dont worry hes just being an asshole

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** whatcha want

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Ah! My fragile companion! I’m glad that the devious Inigo do not harm you! I humbly ask for you to accompany me on a journey to the merchant square! For our lovely birth-givers are in need of some new curtains to decorate their apothecary.

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** Ya ill go to the mall you dont ur boxers in a twist

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** Im at Inigos tho

 

 **EternalChasity:** please take him away

 

 **EternalChasity:** lucy whyd u let him in

 

 **luCENA:** because i was just leaving

 

 **EternalChasity:** you left me with him

 

 **luCENA:** ya i got shit to do

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** Im right here dont ingore me

 

 **EternalChasity:** stop looking at my phone u freak

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** OH SO THATS WHO U LIKE

 

 **EternalChasity:** FUCK

 

 **EternalChasity:** WHY DID YOU TYPE IT WERE IN THE SAME ROOM

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** ITS NOT LIKE YER TALKING TO ME ANYWAYS

 

 **SexyBitch123:** ah yes the beauty of two idiots

 

 **SexyBitch123:** Can we fuckign go to the spa now

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby** : inigo can go when owain gets here

 

 **SexyBitch123:** r u fucking holding him hostage

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** ya

 

 **SexyBitch123:** i gotta slay the ugly idiot to get my prince and have a spa day brb everyone

 

 **EternalChasity:** u sure as hell rnt a princess

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** ya and ur no prince so like

 

 **SexyBitch123:** yeah im the fucking knight heres my sword, its getting familiar with ur throat *fucking stabs you*

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** i heard sword im here

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Severa! I didn’t know you were familiar with roleplaying tactics! Perhaps we can meet up on gaia later!

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** also kjelle can i see ur familys’ sword collection later

 

 **SexyBitch123:** any dumbassery i know rubbed right off of you, also fuck off im not playing pretend with you

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** idk my dad is being weird with them

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** what does that mean

 

 **SexyBitch123:** shut up im driving and my phone goin off is distracting

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** dont text and drive

 

 **SexyBitch123:** THATS WHY IM A STOP LIGHT, MOM.

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** Don;t take that tone with me young lady

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Familial roleplaying isn’t something i typically dabble in but….

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** its not a roleplay i am her real mother

 

 **Gay Rights!:** ANYWAYS I HEARD THERE WAS A PARTY

 

 **EternalChasity:** LOL YEAH

 

 **Gay Rights!:** SICK WHEN

 

 **EternalChasity:** idk this weekend i think? Its up to noire tbh

 

 **EternalChasity:** @BLOOD AND THUNDER when is a good time

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** my mom isnt here this entire week and my dad… well he just disappears sometimes just up and goes? And is gone for the whole night?

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** I heard party!!!!!

 

 **luCENA:** cynthia i dont really think this the kinda party for you

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** lucy i can outdrink kjelle

 

 **The Fucking Strong:** thats because i barely drink

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** but i still can outdrink you!

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** well, okay…

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** rules are don’t spill ANYTHING, don’t spill weed on any carpets because its hard to clean out, DO NOT go into my moms room and definitely DONT touch ANY of her shit, leave everything where you found it. Also some people can sleep over but some of you need to go home there’s not enough room for you all. I’m going to pm this to everyone.

 

 **★HeroOfJustice★:** oooo can I sleep over! :D

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** Sure! :)

 

 **EternalChasity:** wow youre a party vet huh

 

 **BLOOD AND THUNDER:** you make me host all of them

 

 **EternalChasity:** ;*

 

 **SexyBitch123:** inigo im outside ur house get the fuck out

 

 **EternalChasity:** k

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** owains not here yet tho

 

 **SexyBitch123:** to bad u can wait outside

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** WHAT

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Fear not! For the Great Owain is merely moments away! Soon, my faithf

 

 **SexyBitch123:** did he die

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** shit the light turned green and i got honked at

 

 **xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** anyways im here

 

 **Peanut Butter Baby:** okay

 

 **EternalChasity:** okay bye sluts

 

 **SexyBitch123:** the only slut here is u

 

_Morgan Added Inigo and Owain  to a group_

 

_Morgan changed Owain’s nickname to 2008 RP_

 

_Morgan changed Inigo’s nickname to Gerome’s Future Stripper BF_

 

_Morgan changed their nickname to Match Making Master_

 

_Match Making Master changed the group name to Make EternalChasity to EternalAssTitty_

 

_Chat Log Start: Monday 8:57pm_

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** What the fuck morgan

 

 **2008 RP:** why didnt you name yourself matchmaker

 

 **2008 RP:** it couldve been like fiddler on the roof

 

 **Match Making Master:** it does’nt matter

 

 **Match Making Master:** what matters is getting gerome and inigo laid

 

 **Match Making Master:** together

 

 **2008 RP:** yes! And the party is the perfect opportunity

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** do i have a say in this or

 

 **2008 RP:** No.

 

 **Match Making Master:** Nope!

 

 **Match Making Master:** you’ll thank us later!

 

 **2008 RP:** besides everyone knows u want his dick

 

 **2008 RP:** and brady told me about your homescreen to prove our theories

 

 **Match Making Master:** what even is ur homescreen

 

 **2008 RP:** apperently its a shitty pic of gerome working out

 

 **2008 RP:** like its him working out but its all blurry and zoomed in and ur thumb is the entire bottom screen

 

 **2008 RP:** i mean he has nice back muscles but get a better pic at least

 

 **Match Making Master:** WHERE DID U GET A SHITTY PIC OF GEROME WORKING OUT

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** LISTEN ITS THE ONLY CHANCE I HAD HE DOESNT LIKE HIS PICTURE TAKEN AND HES SHIRTLESS ON TOP OF THAT

 

 **2008 RP:** XDDDDDDDDDDDD

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I was NOT letting that chance slip by

 

 **Match Making Master:** ok thats weird and creepy

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I know

 

 **Match Making Master:** BUT!

 

 **Match Making Master:** gerome is weird and creepy too so its okay

 

 **2008 RP:** its why ur so good for each other!

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** wow okay i see how it is

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** but…. Whats the…. Plan for us to… ya know….. Hook Up

 

 **2008 RP:** Like we said, the party

 

 **Match Making Master:** ya take him to a room and dance for him

 

 **Match Making Master** : LAP dance for him ;))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** THATS NOT EVEN ORIGINAL SEVERA KEEPS TELLING ME TO DO THAT

 

 **Match Making Master:** we literally have been waiting for months for an opportunity fuck you

 

 **2008 RP:** plus gerome said he wants to see you dance

 

 **2008 RP:** so give him a nice and personal one ;)

 

 **Match Making Master:** we are your wing people so. Dw.

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** i am worried

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I Am So Insanely Worried

 

 **2008 RP:** FEAR NOT! For we shall ensure your romance blossoms, or……

 

 **2008 RP:** idk u can destroy any of my prized possessions

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** how is me lap dancing for him romantic

 

 **2008 RP:** all the hard work is done on geromes side all u gotta do is initiate it

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** WHAT HARD WORK

 

 **Match Making Master:** haha hard

 

 **Match Making Master:** well gerome isnt the most fucking emotionall vulnerable person

 

 **2008 RP:** He is a lone wolf! A renegade! To peirce his heart, you must first make it vulnerable!

 

 **Match Making Master:** We had to like, convince him the party wasn’t stupid and then get unblocked when we kept telling him to get a BF and it was. A mess.

 

 **2008 RP:** seriously appericate the effort we put into seeing you get hooked up

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** im…. Touched…. You guys are such good friends….

 

 **2008 RP:** No problem!

 

 **Match Making Master:** Despite teasing you so much we really care about you! And we care about Gerome too!! I just think its time for you two emos to hook up

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** IM NOT EMO!!

 

 **2008 RP** : inigo we know about ur depression

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **Match Making Master:** dude you literally told us all when u got drunk that one time and started crying on ur sister

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** FASJ;DLJFDSL WHAT!!!! WHY DIDNT YOU ALL TELL ME THIS SOONER

 

 **Match Making Master:**  well its not the easiest thing to bring up. But we’re here for you!!!!!!!

 

 **2008 RP:** no adventure is complete without a bard or dancer! Who will lift our morale? Who will impart us with their beauty? Who will make not only ladies, but men swoon to their cheerful shanties and mournful ballads?  Who is better for all that than you?

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:**  That would have been much better if it wasn’t in some fantasy bullshit

 

 **2008 RP:** orz

 

 **Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** but regardless im flattered ;*

 

 **Match Making Master:** so go get his dick inigo

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this house we remind inigo we love him, no matter how rude we are to him


	5. when ur hooking up at a party but ur friends dad is in the room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party Time™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me gerome in fe heroes

_Chat Log Start: Friday - 12:08 pm_

 

**★HeroOfJustice★** : So the party is tonight?!? :o

 

**EternalChasity** : Yea!! Its gonna be right lit lol

 

**SexyWyvern123** : Don’t ever speak like that again.

 

**EternalChasity** : shut up

 

**SexyWyvern123** : you shit up

 

**EternalChasity** : shit up

 

**Gay Rights!** : Shit up

 

**Peanut Butter Baby** : Shit up everyone

 

**YiffYiff** : what time should we all be there @BLOOD AND THUNDER!

 

**Nahbro** : yarne did u pick up today??

 

**YiffYiff** : Yesh~! :3c

 

**EternalChasity** : so i can’t say lit but yarne can talk… like that

 

**Nahbro:** niceeee

 

**SexyWyvern123** : Yarne can so whatever he likes I don't care.

 

**YiffYiff** : :3c *nuzzles Gerome*

 

**SexyWyvern123:** except that

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!** : Around 8 or 9, I don’t care! Severa and Lucy are coming early to help set up so...

 

**YiffYiff** : 3:

 

**SexyBitch123** : gay girl gang

 

**★HeroOfJustice★** : oooo no fair!! can I come early too??

 

**SexyBitch123** : no cynthia Gay Chicks Only

 

**SexyBitch123** : jk love of course you can <3

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!** : Sure you can! Be at my house after school we’re all going then

 

**★HeroOfJustice★** : Okay!

 

**EternalChasity** : why has owain been typing for like 5 minutes

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** The air around the almighty Odin Dark tingled, static electricity filling the air. “Yes…” He muttered to himself, “There is something powerful going on…. the gathering of forces, all to…” he shifted his gaze around, looking for any intruders “To scheme? To fight? To unwind?” He chuckled. “Yes… anything could happen…”

 

**luCENA** : aren’t you kids in class

 

**EternalChasity** : aren’t you in fucking class

 

**luCENA** : i have a spare, and i’m trying to work.

 

**luCENA** : laurent is here too

 

**EternalChasity** : tell laurent to remove the stick up his ass and come to the party

 

**Laurent** : All sticks are removed from my anal rectum, and I’ll see you there.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** please don’t tell me about ur anal rectum ever again

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** same

 

**EternalChasity:** YEA DUDE WTF

 

**Laurent:** Brady, Owain, Inigo, would you like to learn about the shocking lack of sticks or other objects in my anal rectum? You would be surprised how the only thing in there is feces in there.

 

**EternalChasity** : gods can we uninvite him

 

**Laurent:** Well, it seems that I have to make an appearance now.

  
  
**luCENA:** can you all please stop im trying to learn about carbon chains and my phone won’t stop going off pay attention in your classes

 

**Laurent:** Lucina you have been staring at the same paragraph for 4 minutes and 35 seconds now.

 

**Laurent:** im laurent and i get off to the mona lisa ooooooooooo im such an intelluctial i watch rick and morty mmmm

 

**luCENA:** Yes Im Lucina and i think im better than everyone because my mom is hot and my family is rich

 

**Laurent:** DONT YOU DARE BRING MY MOTHER INTO THIS LAURENT

 

**EternalChasity:** STOP CALLING MOM HOT

 

**luCENA:** Brother whom’st i hate and secretly talk bad about behind myyddddddddddddddddd

 

**EternalChasity:** WHAT

 

**EternalChasity:** LUCY WHAT

 

**SexyBitch123:** i dont wanna b here for family drama lol

 

**Laurent** : It seems Lucina has heard enough of the truth.

 

**luCENA:** DONT LISTEN TO HIS LIES, I LOVE U LIL BRO I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING

 

**EternalChasity:** you told me to die this morning because i was taking to long in the shower and called it a hate crime

 

**luCENA** : but i did it. With love.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** if you guys r rich why don’t u just buy two showers

 

**EternalChasity:** we have three but mom and dad were using the other two

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:**

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** is that why severa always showers at ur house

 

**luCENA:** yea lol

 

**NahBro:** I almost got in trouble for laughing so insanely hard and not saying what it was over so this thread is canceled you are all banned

 

**YiffYiff:** its true i was nah’s phone

 

**Nahbro:** shut up yarne your right across from me

 

**YiffYiff:** :3cc

 

**luCENA** : please listen to nah and shut up.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby** : fine

 

**Peanut Butter Baby** : inigo just got his phone taken away anyways LOL

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** good

 

_Chat Log: Friday - 7:52 pm_

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!** : the house is ready for whenever you guys want to come!

 

**EternalChasity** : okay me and morgan are on our way right now we just need to pick up gerome

 

**Gay Rights!** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**EternalChasity:** stop

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** me and owain might be a might be a bit late, yarne and nah needed a ride.

 

**EternalChasity:** are they already high lol

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** probably

 

**Nahbro:** just a lil lol

 

**Nahbro:** I SEE UR CAR OWAIN

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** okay get in

 

**Nahbro:** is kjelle coming?

 

**SexyBitch123:** ya she’s already here lol

 

**YiffYiff:** see you all soon!!!

 

_2008 RP to Make EternalChasity to EternalAssTitty_

 

Chat Log Start - 8:24 pm

 

**2008 RP:** so whats the sitch

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** r u rping kim possible now

 

**2008 RP:** i could

 

**Match Making Master** : well you see, today im just gonna wing it

 

**Match Making Master** : can i b ron

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** WING IT?

 

**Match Making Master:** ya

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** that. Doesn’t make me confident.

 

**2008 RP:** dw, if theres any fuck ups its gonna b u and gerome FUCKING UP

 

**2008 RP:** *rim shot*

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I am going to murder u at the party

 

**2008 RP:** :(

 

**Match Making Master:** this is an ART not a science

 

**2008 RP:** ya you gotta roll with the punches, just like ur in a rocky moive *eye of the tiger plays*

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I dont know what i hate more: owain rp personalities or owains actual personality

 

**Match Making Master:** hes right though if u go in with a rigid plan SOMETHING you didnt expect will show up and sink ur ship like the Titanic

 

**2008 RP:** NEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, WHEREEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRR YOU AREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** I accept the fact I will never date Gerome because the two people attempting to hook me up are complete and utter fucking idiots. Thats okay.

 

**Match Making Master:** You will accept the fact that you will date ur hot emo dreamboy bc the two attempting to hook u up are MATCH! MAKING! MASTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** i feel like the ones that are confident are the ones not trying to get laid

 

**2008 RP:** well theres nothing we can do about that

 

**Match Making Master:** Pessimistic arent we?

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** yes

 

**Match Making Master:** well the booze will fix that

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE MY WINGMEN WHILE WASTED

 

**2008 RP:** who said anything about being wasted lol xD

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** owain you’re literally drinking as you type

 

**Match Making Master:** FINE we wont drink or smoke while trying to hook u guys up

 

**2008 RP:** speak for yourself

 

**Match Making Master:** Owain. For Inigo.

 

**2008 RP:** can i drink AFTER we hook them up

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF** : yes

 

**2008 RP:** TRYING TO GET INIGO LAID: THE SPEEDRUN

 

**Match Making Master:**  LKJ;SJAKDFLSJFDAD KJF;AKLSDJF;

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF** : gods help me

 

**Match Making Master:** I’m here! And we’re going to help dw!!

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** satan help me

 

**2008 RP:** I’m here too!

 

**Gerome’s Future Stripper BF:** fuck

 

_Gay Rights! To Gangrel’s Bee Farm_

 

_Chat Log Start: Saturday - 8:33am_

 

**Gay Rights!:** Guess what guys

 

_Gay Rights! Changed EternalChasitys’ nickname to EternalAsstitty_

 

**Gay Rights!:** ur a man now

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** sorry i had to kick everyone out!!! I had NO IDEA dad was home….

 

**SexyBitch123** : how do u just. Not see ur dad. HOW DID WE, THE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO SET UP, NOT SEE HIM????

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** this happens, a lot ….

 

**SexyBitch123:** is ur dad just a ghost or something. Noire are you half ghost.

 

**EternalAsstitty:** morgan is this really a thing now are we really doing this

 

**Gay Rights!:** i like the change!

 

**SexyWyvern123:** please don’t.

 

_Gay Rights! Changed SexyWyvern123s’ name to Inigos Emo BF_

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** okay so what did happen between you two fellas

 

**Gay Rights!:** they fucked

 

**EternalAssTitty:** WE DID NOT

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** they did

 

**Gay Rights!:** this is the ultimate sign of love how dare you insult the nickname change

 

_Gay Rights! Changed Inigos Emo BFs’ name to I Fucked Inigo_

 

**I Fucked Inigo:** not yet

 

**EternalAssTitty:** GEROME

 

**Gay Rights!:** well its preemptive then

 

**I Fucked Inigo:** <3

 

**luCENA:** Morgan.

 

**Gay Rights!:** I Will Change It Immediately..

 

_Gay Rights! Changed I Fucked Inigos’ name to Inigos Emo BF_

 

**luCENA:** also i don’t want you two being gross and nasty in the chat or I will lock Inigo outside the house

 

**EternalAssTitty:** WHY

 

**luCENA:** no nasty in this house

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** you guys still haven’t explained what went down tho

 

**EternalAssTiddy:** this isnt a fuckign house this is a chatroom, stored in a server or some nerdy shit

 

**luCENA:** yea but you’re physically typing these things in our home

 

**NahBro:** dude i was way to fucking baked last night pls fill me in

 

**YiffYiff:** it’s still technically the same day we left at like 3 in the morning but also yes!!! Fill us in on the juicy details OwO

 

**NahBro:** shut the shut up with ur technically shit

 

**SexyBitch123:** it appears youre still feeling it lmao

 

**NahBro:** you can shut the fuck off too

 

**SexyBitch123:** ANYWAYS. INIGO. GEROME. FILL US IN.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** It’s none of your business.

 

**SexyBitch123:** INIGO. FILL US IN.

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** we already told you. They fucked.

 

**SexyBitch123:** did you lapdance him like i told you to?

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Excuse me.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** SHUT UP SEVERA

 

**Gay Rights!:** well did you

 

**EternalAssTitty:** ITS NOT LIKE I COULD EVEN DO ANYTHING 5 SECONDS INTO KISSING WE HEARD SOMEONE COUGH AND FUCKING NOIRES DAD WAS IN THE ROOM

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** Once again, im so so so so sorry about that. But you also were told not to go into bedrooms so :/

 

**EternalAssTitty:** would you rather we made out in front of everyone or….

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** I do not wish to relive this please.

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** If that means avoiding all the awkward questions from my dad: Yes. A thousand times over.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** sorry

 

**Inigos Emo BF** : ...What kinds of questions…

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** Do you really want to know Gerome. Do you really.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .... I want to know the ones directly pointed at me.

 

**BLOOD AND THUNDER!:** Apparently, he knows your dad. Also he kept asking me about your mask and if you’re like contaminated or something. And if we had to quarantine the house.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** yea u gotta stop wearing that thing babe.

 

**NahBro:** Hes contaminated with Gay Feelings. Fatal to Str8 dudes.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Im wearing this mask until I die and there is nothing you can do about it.

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** : wow edgelord slow down, i think u cut me with it

 

**EternalAssTitty:** you can’t talk at all owain “odin dark” so shut the fuck up

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** awwwwwh he’s feisty over his bf

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** so when u and inigo fuck r u gonna wear the mask or….

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** wouldn't you like to find out

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** ew no thanks

 

**YiffYiff:** Did you two like kiss through the mask

 

**EternalAssTitty:** nah i made him take it off

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** can you please stop giving away these details so freely, dear.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** im not letting people think i kissed you thru a mask like a fucking werido im sorry babe

 

**YiffYiff:** HE HAS A MOUTH??? ITS NOT LIKE A VOID???

 

**Nahbro:** OOOH MY GOD

 

**SexyBitch123:** i wish he didn’t.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** dont be rude severa

 

**SexyBitch123:** have you met me

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** you’d get the same amount of lip either way

 

**YiffYiff:** oooooooooooo CAT FIGHT

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** severa’s just mad because now inigo’s going to be paying more attention to gerome than to her lol

 

**SexyBitch123:** lmao he already did before they were fucking so it doesnt matter

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** hey guys i have a killer hangover and i cant find the mute button can u all talk a lil less please?

 

**Gay Rights!:** thats what you get for trying to out drink ME!

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** how are you still peppy

 

**Gay Rights!:** Hydration is the secret~

 

**The Fucking Strong:** didnt we tell you that it was a bad idea. No pity from me.

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:**  sorry mom :(

 

**EternalAssTitty:** that reminds me, morgan and owain you are the WORST WINGMAN EVER

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** what are you talking about, you’re dating now

 

**Gay Rights!:** *high fives owain*

 

**EternalAssTitty:** Owain was drinking before the party even started, started smoking with brady within 7 minutes, and started RPing with Noire and whoever would stand to listen to him

 

**EternalAssTitty:** Morgan you also admitted to your sins

 

**Gay Rights!:** Okay but. You’re dating ur drEMO (dream emo) so its all good!!!!

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** speaking of smoking, did you guys see fucking laurent smoking that fat blunt??

 

**EternalAssTitty:** NO??????????

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Don’t ever call me a dream emo ever again.

 

**SexyBitch123:** of course you didn’t you were fucking making out with the emo

 

**EternalAssTitty:** Sh.

 

**Laurent:** I find it preposterous that you did not see me smoke, it was the fatest and nastiest of blunts and you were standing right next to me as I was smoking it, Inigo.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** please dont ever talk like….. That.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** ALSO WHAT REALLY

 

**Laurent:** I believe you were too busy looking at Gerome to notice me.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:**.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** DONT YOU . ME

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** .

 

**Gay Rights!:** stop spamming lol

 

_Love Of My Life (Gerome) to Asshole Whomst I Love (Inigo)_

 

_Chat Log Start - Saturday: 11:45am_

 

**Love Of My Life:**.

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** ODNT YOU DARE START THIS SHIT HERE

 

**Love Of My Life:** .

 

**Love Of My Life:** just kidding

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** Someone is feisty today ;*

 

**Love Of My Life:** how is me . ing you fiesty

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** it just is!

 

**Love of My life:** I see

 

**Love Of My Life:** on the topic of seeing things, can I see you dance? Properly.

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** that was properly u ungrateful prick

 

**Love Of My Life:** You were just grinding on me. Then we were interrupted.

 

**Love Of My Life:** i also meant an actual dance, slut

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** thats a dance! Also u enjoyed it lol ;*

 

**Love Of My Life:** you know how greedy i can get

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** oh really ;)

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** ill … CONSIDER it ….

 

**Love Of My Life:** maybe you’ll consider it a little faster with some persuasion

 

**Love Of My Life:** like… a  movie? And dinner?

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:** wow ur so romantic gerome im swooning

 

**Love Of My Life:** fuck off im new to this

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:**

****

 

**Love Of My Life:** Date cancelled because of memes. 

 

**Asshole Whomst I Love:**

****

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inigo sexts like a straight white boy and thems the facts


	6. It's Equality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> start ur new year off right by reading out fic! (sorry for being absent anna had exams and work a ton over the holidays and we r both lazy bitches)

_ Chat Log start: Wednesday 1:31pm _

 

**NahBro:** hey guys does anyone fucking know what mrs emm has assigned for homework

 

**SexyBitch123:** what todays homework?

  
  
**NahBro:** no the homework thats due for today

 

**SexyBitch123:** we have 10min until nexy period you are so fucked   
  


**NahBro:** ITS OKAY….. I CAN DO THIS

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** Answer questions 1- 40 (evens only~) for chapter 4! ^o^

 

**SexyBitch123:** no let her suffer

 

**NahBro:** I Owe You My Life

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** Nah you are done for. 

 

**NahBro:** no its fine we got 5min at the beginning of class to ourselves. Ive rushed worse.

 

**SexyBitch123:** im afraid to ask what is “worse”

 

**NahBro:** ive finished a 5page essay the exact second it was being collected

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** I remember that!

 

**luCENA:** Nah. Nah. Do you take constructive criticism

 

**luCENA:** NAH

 

**NahBro:** EXCUSE ME I AM ATTEMPTING TO DO MY WORK

 

**luCENA:** that ship has sailed

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Nah do we, your other mothers, have to ground you for not doing your homework

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** *I* believe in you, Nah!! (o^ ∀ ^)

 

**NahBro:** THANK YOU CYNTHIA  <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

**NahBro:** also. YOU CANT GROUND ME YOU ARENT MY  **_REAL_ ** mom 

 

**luCENA:** YOU’RE GROUDNED

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I’m crying.

 

**SexyBitch123:** Nah shouldnt you be….at least trying to do your fucking work….

 

**luCENA:** you make her cry you monster. Shes just looking out for you

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** ive been the one typing for her shes been working the whole time 

 

**SexyBitch123:** WOW 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Give me back my real daughter Owain.

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** no! Also im sorry for being a bad influence, im typically the one who bum rushes my work LOL xD

 

**The Fucking Strong:** You’re EXTRA grounded. 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** who me or nah

 

**SexyBitch123:** the bell tolls for thee

 

**NahBro:** SHUT UP!!! IM HALFWAY DONE!! All i need are those sweet, sweet 5 min…..

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** is she even marking them or just checking them…?

 

**NahBro:** i cant have mrs emmeryn get mad at me shes too nice

 

**SexyBitch123:** Marking, I hope

 

**NahBro:** You Are Mean To Me You Insult Me You Don’t Appreciate Anything That I  

 

**luCENA:** get to class guys

 

_ Chat Log Start: Wensday 3:25pm _

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** guys my mom wont pick me up from school

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I’ll pick you up

 

**SexyBitch123:** lmao is she still mad at you for hosting the party

 

**SexyBitch123:** do i have to kill inigo for getting u in trouble

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** shes typically fine with me hosting parties.. And my dad didn’t really tell her

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** we just drank the rest of the booze together with Cynthia and watched bad horror movies after everyone left

 

**The Fucking Strong:** then why is she not picking you up?

 

**The Fucking Strong:** im like 5 mintues away from the school wanna stop and grab lunch?

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** i dont know!!!

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** also yes!!!!! Lets go to that chinese buffet place omg

  
  
**SexyBitch123:** I Am Killing Inigo For Getting You In Trouble

  
  
**EnternalAsstitty:** I DIDNT EVEN GET HER IN TROUBLE  HER MOM IS BEING WERID AGAIN

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** please dont kill inigo!!! Hes such a good friend!!!!

 

**EnternalAssTitty:** :***

 

**The Fucking Strong:** noire im parked by the front of the school come out

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** okay mom 

 

**NahBro:** family bonding

  
  
**The Fucking Strong:** not for you 

 

**NahBro:** :( 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** you are triple grounded

  
  
**NahBro:** WHAT WHY

 

**luCENA:** 1) didnt do your work on time 2) hung around owain (a bad influence) 3) made Kjelle cry

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Triple. Grounded

  
**  
** **NahBro:** FOR HOW LONG??????

 

**NahBro:** MRS EMM DIDNT EVEN GET MAD WHEN SHE CAME OVER AND SAW ME WORKING ON THE HOMEWORK SHE WAS JUST LIKE “You must have been busy yesterday! I’ll give you until the end of class if you need it!”

 

**luCENA:** THATS BC SHES EXTRA NICE

 

**SexyBitch123:** Isn’t she ur aunt lucy? 

 

**luCENA:** yes and she is also a literal Angel. 

 

**SexyBitch123:** you know who else is a literal angel?

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Who?

 

**SexyBitch123:** The girl reading this. 

 

**luCENA:** … you hang out with inigo to much 

 

**SexyBitch123:** ARE YOU JEALOUS OF OUR SACRED TWINSHIP??

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** we’re at the chinese place you guys want anything? 

 

**SexyBitch123:** yea if you can get me some PUSSY

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I’m actually going to screenshot this and send it to your mother because me grounding you isn’t enough. 

 

**YiffYiff: :3c**

 

**SexyBitch123:** is that it

  
  
**YiffYiff:** <:3c

 

**The Fucking Strong:** they said they were fresh out of pussy but they have imitation pussy

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** i heard its better for your heart

 

**SexyBitch123:** this jokes is dead and you killed it

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** U-U

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** um… anyways… im getting you sweet and sour pork

 

**SexyBitch123:** thanks babe ;*

 

**NahBro:** ohhh my god you are becoming a Inigo Clone

 

**SexyBitch123:** what? why would i ever want to act like that idiot

 

**NahBro:** severa its been like 3 fuck since inigo and you stopped maving matching usernames and you havent even CONSIDERED changing it

 

**luCENA:** 3 fuck

 

**SexyBitch123:** fuck you i just dont care

 

**NahBro:** three (3) whole fuck

 

**NahBro: [Today** **3:47PM] SexyBitch123:** ARE YOU JEALOUS OF OUR SACRED TWINSHIP??

 

_ The Fucking Strong changed SexyBitch123’s nickname to Inigo 2.0 _

 

**NahBro:** SAJDKSAKJLDSJAKDSLJ LMAOOOOO

 

**Inigo 2.0:** die

 

**Inigo 2.0: Hate.** Let me tell you how much  **I’ve come to hate you** since I read your text. There are  **387.44 million** miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my phone complex. If the word  **hate** was engraved on  **each nanoanangstrom** of those hundreds of millions of miles it would  **not equal one billionth** of the HATE I feel for you at this instant.

 

**Inigo 2.0:** For you. Hate.

 

**Inigo 2.0: Hate.**

 

**NahBro:** isnt this that one copypasta Laurent always sends 

 

**Inigo 2.0:** mayhaps

 

**NahBro:** also wtf is a nanoanangstrom 

  
  


**Inigo 2.0:** idk im just a dumb bitch

 

**The Fucking Strong:** We Know

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** we still love u tho also where r u rn i hav ur chinese

 

**Inigo 2.0:** im at home doing a fucking face mask

 

**Inigo 2.0:** when you come over you should do one too i got like. 20 rn i just bought some 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** why do u have so many face masks

 

**Inigo 2.0:** ya know cuz. I also i do a bunch w inigo so i keep em stocked up

 

**NahBro:** AGAIN WITH INIGO OHHH MY GOD

 

**luCENA:** wtf why dont u do them w/ me

 

**Inigo 2.0:** COME OVER DO SOME W/ ME AND NOIRE AND KJELLE

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** ohhhh come on! You’re making it worse than it actually is! Servera shops with me all the time!!! 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** im NOT doing a face mask

 

**Inigo 2.0:** yes u are

 

**Inigo 2.0:** good thing to bc if i didnt come with u you would be a fashion DISASTER

 

**Inigo 2.0:** same w/ u lucy 

 

**NahBro:** okay but how often does severa bring up inigo. Heros dont lie.

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** ….

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** Touché

 

**Inigo 2.0:** why the fuck does the e have an accent

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** ééééééééééééééééééééééééé

 

**Inigo 2.0:** you sound like theres something stuck in ur throat

 

**NahBro:** éééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééé

 

**luCENA:** éééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééé

  
  


_ The Fucking Strong changed Inigo 2.0’s nickname to Sévéra _

 

**NahBro:** ur stuck in my throat ;)

 

**Sévéra:** What Does That Even Mean 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** did i come at a wrong time

 

**Sévéra:** yes go away 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** severa we’re outside ur house

 

**Sévéra:** get the fuck in here then 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Okay Sévéra.

 

**Sévéra:** DIE.

 

**Blood and Thunder!** : Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

 

**luCENA:** WAIT so can i actually come or

 

**Sévéra:** duh

 

**NahBro:** wtf why rnt i invited

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** I wanna come too!!!

 

**Sévéra:** OH MY GOD JUST ALL OF YOU COME OVER **.**

 

**Sévéra:** morgan i know ur gender fluid but if u wanna chill its cool

 

**Gay Rights!:** B)

 

**NahBro:** were you here the whole time??????\

  
  
**Gay Rights!:** im the master lurker

  
  
**Gay Rights!:** jk i finally convinced my mom that i was too busy to work for her. I used all the talking to pretend like i was missing out on Plans

 

**Gay Rights!** : but lo and behold! Theres actual plans!

 

**Sévéra:** what the fuck were you gonna do if you didnt come here

  
  
**Gay Rights!:** idk plan for a DND campain with Odin Dark. 

 

**Sévéra:** OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY CALL HIM THAT…

 

**Gay Rights!:** Only Respect For My Eternal Ally-Versay!

 

**Blood and Thunder:** wait i dont have enough chinese food for everyone  >o<;;

  
  
**luCENA:** I’ll order a pizza or something?

 

**luCENA:** if your mom is there she could also just cook 

 

**luCENA:** (please say your mom is theres shes such good cook)

 

**Sévéra:** no shes such a workaholic shes doing like the fifth overtime this month :/

 

**Sévéra:** my dads here tho

 

**NahBro:** wtf this was supposed to be Girls’ Only (ft. Morgan the Gay)

 

**Gay Rights!:** the gender binary is a lie just let your dad chill with us

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** you dad is so nice!!!! He has a really good movie collection it’ll be FUN!!!!!! :DDDD

 

**Sévéra:** you know i cant say no to :DDD    
  


**Sévéra:** its gonna be so fun today i wish my moOHH M Y GOD FUCKIGN KJELLE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME I HEAR YOU KNOCKING DOWN MY FUCKING FRONT DOOR

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I TOLD YOU WE WERE HERE LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO I WILL FUCKING KNOCK DOWN THIS DOOR IF YOU DON T GET OFF UR PRETTY ASS AND OPEN THE FUCK UP 

  
  
  


**Sévéra:** DIDNT MY DAD FUCKING ANSWER THE DOOR OR DID YOU KILL HIM WITH YOUR SHOCKWAVES

 

**Sévéra:** welcome to my fuck house

 

**Sévéra:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ummm i cant find a place to put the chinese down

 

**NahBro:** why did you type that

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** bc severa is trying to chase kjelle down to put a face mask on her and they are screaming

 

**Gay Rights!:** oh so thats what i can hear from outside

 

**Blood and Thunder!:**  i left the door unlocked for you ^u^

 

**Enternal AssTitty:** WTF I WANNA DO FACE MASKS WITH YOU AND THE GIRLS!!!!

 

**luCENA:** absolutely fucking not. 

 

**luCENA:** as your big sister i am fucking ORDERING you to stay away from severas house and like

 

**luCENA:** idk dance with mom

 

**Eternal AssTitty** : COME ONNNNNNNN FUCKING TINY DAD IS THERE!

 

**Sévéra:** you are not coming into this sacred place

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** :((((((((( 

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** lucy can i get a ride??? ;;

 

**luCENA:** ya 

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** we can pick up the pizzas on the way!!!!

 

**Sévéra:** careful lucys a shitty driver

 

**luCENA:** shut up ur the bad driver remember when u crashed my car into my dads pool

 

**Sévéra:** its because im gay 

 

**Sévéra:** gay people cant drive you fool. You utter fucking buffoon.

 

**luCENA:** im getting pineapples on all three of the pizzas now if you dont shut up

 

**NahBro:** SHOT THROUGH THE HEART. AND YOURE TO LAAATE

 

**Sévéra:** just hurry up and get here ;))))

 

**luCENA:** bleh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We Are All Severa.


	7. Hello, degenerate children!

_ Chat Log Start : Wednesday 11:14 pm _

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** any of you assholes still up?

 

_ Chat Log Start: Wednesday 11:45 pm _

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** AH! How fare thee, my fragile companion! O, Brady of Moistened Eyes! You disappearance of many moons has caused deep woes, for whom’st will be the level-headed priest to aide my side? Constantly, my sword hand unleashes it PURE UNADULTERATED RAGE due the increase stress and worry over thy welfare!    
  
Brady! Please, ease my troubled soul, pray tell you are of sound mind and body! If not, I shall unleash a torrent of pain and misery upon the dreaded miscreants who DARE make the singular tear be shed from your rich chocolate sight orbs.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** ya im fine bitch stop being dramatic

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** how did that take u half an hour to respond

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Well you see, my scowling companion , a truly skilled wordsmith shall proofread their waxings, to achieve the utmost poetic justice! 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**  also i had to pee halfway thru lol

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** … anyways…I was just busy w school so i ain’t have much time to be on my phone

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** gay 

 

**Eternal AssTitty** : also brady i saw u crying again today what happened this time

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** eat shit inigo 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** WHO MADE YOU CRY

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** NO ONE BECAUSE I WASN’T CRYING

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** yes u were lol i took a snap of it

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** AH! I see, the one who had made you cry was in fact, Inigo himself! Fear not, I shall only release a fraction of my ULTIMATE POWER, STORED IN MY CURSED, RAGING SWORD HAND. Yes, only enough to make an example.

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** wtf dude i just walked by kpfpftpfpt

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**  My cursed eye can also tell written lies on sight

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** you gotta be shitting on my fucking legs 

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** oh i’ll shit on ur fucking legs alright delete that fucking snap

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**  PLEASE REFRAIN OF THE SHITTING ON LEGS

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** its a snap dumbass its gone already 

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** how in the ever loving fuck do ya expect me to know that

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:**  the  only damn reason I gots it is because you want a streaking or whatever the fuck its called

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** WHICH YOU BREAK ALL THE TIME 

 

**YiffYiff:** OwO Hewwo? 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** rest your head, my saddened companion, for you see: snaps die immediately after their short, 10 second life ends

 

**NahBro:** actually

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** (( don’t you “actually” me, Sacred Dragon Temptress of the Mila Tree, Nah))

 

**NahBro:** HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

 

**NahBro:** WHERE DON’T YOUR SLIMY, GAY HANDS REACH 

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** what the hells a mila tree that some kinda vegan shit

 

**YiffYiff:** Nah! Did you finally tell the others? <o> w <o>

 

**NahBro:** Ya. Totally. Sure

 

**NahBro:** pleasepretendyouneversawthatpleasepleaseplease

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** do i even wanna know what that means

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** i cant read that there aint no spaces

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Rest easy, my dragonborn ally, for I shall refrain from releasing any other treasured secrets.

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** OH ITS SKYRIM

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** all ive been doing this week is playing skyrim eheheh

 

**NahBro:** I literally cant remember the last time i played skyrim its really more of my mothers thing

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** omgggg come over and play!!! Its so fun i just joined the dark brotherhood

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** can we play skyrim w/ ur mom lol xD

 

**Eternal AssTiddy:** i see you dropped your ((‘s

 

**NahBro:** NO

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** :(

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**  ALSO i cast a hex of “fuck off and die” upon you and your kin

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** OH NO FUCK OFF THE LAST TIME YOU DID THAT MY FUCKING PHONE BROKE

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** clearly you have not learned from your past mistakes

 

**luCENA:** Owain. 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** How fare thee, o fair princess Lucina?

 

l **uCENA:** for the first time in 7 blissful years (read: days), inigo has run into my room crying at midnight and you better believe I will march my ass to kjelle’s house for blades and fight you to the death if you laid another bullshit curse on my family again

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:**  Ah! W-well, fear not, for I have never laid a curse on your brother in the first place!

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** DONT FUCKING TELL THEM I WAS CRYING

 

**luCENA:** Kjelles’ father has trained me well in the way of the blade.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** well hes right he wasnt the one to lay the curse last time

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** it was my dad

 

**luCENA:** Well, Its Time To Murder Your Father

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** your dad should hang out w/ my mom lmao 

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** i thought they hated each other

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** Yeah! But my mom hates everyone!

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** Noire, I worry about your family life. A lot.

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** I do too, Brady. I do too. 

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** please say your dad didn’t actualy put a curse on my family last time please please lucy is seriously getting ready to kill him

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** THERE AIN’T EVEN A CURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE IT WAS A JOKE

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MURDER THE CURSES WERE ALWAYS A JOKE

 

**luCENA:** then why the hell did all of our stocks fall, my mother got fired from her theatre company, I failed a test in my best subject and Inigo dropped not one, but TWO brand new phones.

 

**Laurent:** You simply must have had a gazebo effect

 

**Laurent:** Placebo*. My autocorrect is on. 

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** sounds like mercury was in retrograde.

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** *nods head in agreement* you must have pulled the Tower

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Exactly! The stars were not aligned in your favour.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** Laurent. 

 

**Laurent:** Brady.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** Laurent change my name.

 

**Laurent:** Very well then, I always thought you were more of a “Vincent”.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:**

****

 

**Laurent:** Why do you feel the need to use an japanese cartoon screenshot to react.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** ITS A VISUAL NOVEL YOU PLEB JUST CHANGE MY NAME IN THE GROUP CHAT WILL YA

 

**xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx:** Do you need me to tell you how to do that, egghead.

 

**Laurent:** I feel I can manage myself

 

_ Laurent changed xx_Od1n_D4rk_xx’s name to Odin Fart _

 

**Odin Fart:** Brady can we lay a curse on him for real. Please. Noire can you get your mom to do her weird voodoo shit. 

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** wow sexy 

 

**Odin Fart:** DO YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO TAUNT THE GREAT OWAIN, AND RISK THE UNLEASHING OF HIS MIGHT SWORD HAND’S UNSPEAKABLE POWER AND RAGE?!?!?

 

**Laurent:** Yes.

 

**Peanut Butter Baby:** cool your jets

 

**Odin Fart:** Laurent. Laurent Please.

  
_ Laurent changed Peanut Butter Baby’s name to Brady, of Moistened Eyes _

 

**Brady, of Moistened Eyes:**

****

  
  


**Laurent:** You asked and I delivered. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** you were the last person i would expect to abuse your Mod Tier powers

 

**Laurent:** They asked me to change it, but not to what.

 

**Gay Rights!:** Its that kinda tricky genie bullshit that I love about you

 

**Odin Fart:** MY ETERNAL ALLY-VERSAY!

 

**Gay Rights!:** I like the change!

 

**Odin Fart:** are you mad at me for our last dnd session

 

**Gay Rights!:** Whatever Would Make You Say That?

 

**Brady, of Moistened Eyes:** Morgan.

 

**Gay Rights!:** I don’t like that change.

 

_ Gay Rights! Changed Brady, of Moistened Eyes’s name to Gay!Brady _

 

**Gay Rights!:** there you match me now

 

**Gay!Brady:** I don’t know how to feel about this

 

**Gay!Brady:** im MEGAGAY!Brady, at the least

 

**Gay Rights!:** One gay to end them all.

 

**Gay!Brady:** The Gaymega

 

**Odin Fart:** Morgaaaannnn change mine! 

 

**Odin Fart:** pplleeeeeeeaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

**Gay Rights!:** no. 

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** look what has become of the The Mighty Odin. 

 

**Odin Fart:** i wish i really cursed you

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** NO NONO NO NO 

 

**Odin Fart:** you are a pathetic, fearful little man. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** I woke my ma up and shes livid at all of us

 

**Odin Fart:** FUCK

 

**Gay Rights!:** oooh boy

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** watch your fucking language owain 

 

**Gay!Brady:** Hello, degenerate children. It seems that you have been keeping my precious child up and corrupting him with your crude language. At the UNGODLY hour of one in the morning, it seems that you all thought it was a wonderful time to wake up not only myself, but my darling husband and our dogs. 

 

So, feel accomplished in that. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** I shall notify your respective parents about your behaviour.

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** HOW DID WE WAKE THE DOGS UP

 

**Odin Fart:** I’m so so so so SO sorry mrs maribelle please spare me from your wrath. Mother wouldn't want you to do this. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** Owain, dear, is that you? 

 

**Odin Fart:** Mayhaps

  
  
**Gay!Brady:** Then, “Mayhaps” I shall come over to your house right this instant to give you the lashings you deserve myself. My Darling Lissa doesn’t need to get her hands dirty, or be DISTURBED, as  _ I _ was, with your behaviour. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** Mrs. Maribelle how did we wake you, your husband and all of your dogs up.

 

**Gay!Brady:** It seems my numbskull son was being encouraged to make a racket, an ensemble of low quality music, rampant laughter and a phone vibrating on a metal desk.

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** brady this is all your fault WHY ARE YOU BLASTING MUSIC AND WHY ISNT YOUR PHONE ON SILENT. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** A valid line of questioning. And may I ask, whom am I talking to? With such a VULGAR name?

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** uuuuhhhhhhh

 

**Odin Fart:** its inigo 

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** I DIDNT CHOOSE THE NAME MORGAN NAMED ME THIS AGAINST MY WILL

 

**Gay!Brady:** An interesting defence! Regardless your mother will be notified, come morning.

 

**Gay Rights!:** Mrs Maribelle, how did you intend to tell our parents if you don’t who we are.

 

**Gay!Brady:** Someone with this wit must be Morgan!

 

**Gay Rights!:** thats not an answer

 

**Gay!Brady:** Well, the solution was to simply call all the parents I am acquainted with.

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** THAT IS THE WORST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD OF.

 

**Laurent:** I seems Brady’s intellect is inherited from his mother.

  
  
**Gay!Brady:** Says the numbskull who didn't even hide his name.

 

**Gay!Brady:** Well, I’ve had enough of this triad. Please, retire to your beds and wait whatever punishment from your parents come dawn.

 

**Odin Dark:** Well that was… something. 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** is she… actually going to contact our parents.

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** Yes.

 

**Odin Dark:** Yes. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** …… how does she know which anna is my mother….

 

**Odin Dark:** brady are you alive. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** No. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** are any of y’all folks even gonna care? 

 

**Gay Rights!:** no lol

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** probably not 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** mom doesnt care about much ….. Also im going to bed, goodnight!!!

 

**Gay Rights!:** i should sleep too lol 

 

**Gay Rights!:** goodnight my fellow degenerates. 

 

**Gay!Brady:** god shes gonna kick my ass in the morning owain can i move in with you

 

**Odin Fart:** Of course you can, my fellow lowlife companion! I shall begin preparing your bed space immediately! For not a single soul, for not even his own birthgiver, shall ever, EVER, bring harm down upon your fragile personage.

 

**Gay!Brady:** thanks i owe you my life

 

* * *

  
  


**Bonus:** How the Parents “punished” their kids when they were called 

 

Brady suffered from a huge lecture, then his father came in and said that he was awake anyways reading and he's happy that his son is having fun with his friends, so he got off scott free, essentially.

 

Lucina and Inigo had an increasingly awkward conversation with their mother, which ended up with everyone flushed red when Chrom came home from work. 

 

It was impossible for Maribelle to reach the right Anna, so she called Robin, who literally started laughing when she said that Morgans chat name was “Gay Rights!”, and then took the family out for dinner.

 

Lissa and Donnel were visited by Maribelle in the morning, and the lecture devolved into cheerful banter over tea, with Donnel telling his pig stories

 

Laurent’s good natured father got to the house phone before Miriel, and completely tuned her out after the first 5 syllable word was said and simply agreed to punish Laurent, who was forced to play monopoly for 6 hours. Everyone in Laurents family are not people to play monopoly with.

 

Tharja was out of town in business again, and Kellam could simply not be found in Maribelle's address book and contact list.

 

While Sumia didn’t do much besides giggle at the situation, Cynthia’s father decided to use this as an opportunity to take his daughter out for a day of long, hard training, despite Cynthia’s pleas and claims that she wasn’t even present at the time. 

 

Severa talked her way out of any type of punishment from her father (not that he had one planned to begin with), and when Cordelia heard of the affair, she took Severa to McDonalds. 

 

Geromes’ over enthusiastic father was visited at their shared workplace, and the whole building shook with his thunderous laughter, teasing and him slamming his desk when more information was revealed. The laughter stopped once Maribelle stabbed a pair of scissors straight down into his desk. 

 

Sully was so amused at the situation that she encouraged Kjelle to do it again, and when she was told she was asleep while it happened, said that was “going to take her phone while she was sleeping and was gonna do it her damn self.” 

 

Panne, an elder furry, has expected much worse when Maribelle said there were “chatroom hijynx”, and promptly ended the call before much else was said. Yarnes father gave his son an entire bag of candy when he heard that he allegedly pissed Maribelle off. 

 

Nowi was upset that Nah didn’t invite her to join in on the conversation with her friends, “Your friends are my friends!” she claimed. Her father prayed for both his daughter and wife to act normal for once in their lives. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would fucking die for maribelle


	8. thanks for 100 kudos!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hit 100 like, awhile ago but w/e lol  
> nyx did some art to celebrate!  
> also a legit chapter is coming out sometime this week/next week but anna has midterms so its been a rough time

_Chat Log Start: 4:20am_

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:**

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** sev is such a bitch >:(

 

**EternalAssTitty:** We know.

 

**Laurent:** We Know.

 

**luCENA:** We know.

 

**Nahbro:** We know.

 

**Odin Fart:** We know.

 

**Inigo's Emo BF:** We know.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** We know. 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** We know.

 

**Gay!Brady:** we know

 

**Gay Rights!:** we know

 

**YiffYiff:** we know

 

**Sévéra:** i'm not that much a bitch

 

**EternalAssTitty:**  YEA

 

**Laurent:**  Yes.

 

**luCENA:**  yes

 

**Nahbro:**  yee

 

**Odin Fart:**  Yee.

 

**Inigo's Emo BF:**  Yes.

 

**The Fucking Strong:**  yea

 

**Blood and Thunder!:**  ....yes

 

**Gay!Brady:**  ye

 

**Gay Rights!:**  ya

 

**YiffYiff:**  yes

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall for reading!! ^vv^
> 
> heres the original post on their tumblr : http://thracia766.tumblr.com/post/170554935473/thanks-for-100-kudos-on-me-and-hologlitters


	9. Just Like Bart!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Like Bart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Like Bart!

_Chat Log Start: 10:34am_

 

**NahBro** : hey have you ever seen that one video

 

**luCENA** : ive seen many videos before.

 

**YiffYiff** : DONT YOU DARE. DONT YOU DARE BRING THAT SHIT IN HERE

 

**NahBro** : ……………………...crack spider bitch

 

**YiffYiff** :

 

**NahBro** : :3c

 

**NahBro** : why’s it’s so big and blurry

 

**YiffYiff** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**luCENA** : ....

 

**Laurent** : ....

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Are you high.

 

**YiffYiff** : Im skipping lol x3

 

**NahBro** : thats not the question

 

**YiffYiff** : ya know how it is with spaghetti

 

**NahBro** : NO. I REALLY DONT.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF** :....excuse me?

 

**NahBro** : dont worry about it normie

 

**Laurent** : Is he really a “normal” if he dresses as various goth subcultures,  and refuses to take off a fashion mask?

 

**NahBro** : true lol but isnt it just a medicinal mask

 

**Laurent** : Its just cloth, it wont prevent any airborne viruses or the ilk.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** when you say those things, with your mouth, do you realize how much of a prick you sound like?

 

**Laurent** : Don’t be a fool, I typed this out.

 

**YiffYiff** : OHH MY GOD…. HE DID…. HE DID TYPE IT……… OH MY GD?

 

**NahBro** : god that must be some good weed you are smoking

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** You Are A Asshole.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : where….are you yarne

 

**Laurent** : An Asshole*

 

**YiffYiff** : PLanent Earth……..

 

**EternalAssTitty** : WHERE ON PLANET EARTH

 

**NahBro** :  the food court lol

 

**EternalAssTitty** : LEAVE PUBLIC SPACES IMMEDATELY

 

**NahBro** : i needed to be here second period for a test lol im gonna babysit him soon

 

**luCENA** : … are you planning on skipping? Do i have to ground you again??

 

**NahBro** : oh wow!!!! My signal!!! Im loossing it ohh noooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

**NahBro** : *static noises*

 

**NahBro** : IM GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL!!!!

 

**luCENA** : ….Nah….

 

**NahBro** : Message send failure.

 

**Laurent** : Did you turn it on and off?

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF** : what class are you in right now im coming to kill you

 

**Eternal AssTitty** : dont do that wtf i cant hav u go to jail

 

**Laurent** : I’m currently working as a library aide.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** On my way!

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** Fuck. omw*

 

**Laurent** : You need a signed pass from a teacher! Or we’ll call security!

 

**EternalAssTitty** : omg cute

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** Would you? Would you really?

 

**Laurent** : Yes.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** No man could hold me back.

 

**Laurent** : Inigo.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : Laurent.

 

**Laurent** : Hold Gerome back.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** THATS CHEATING!!!

 

**Laurent** : How so?

 

**Eternal AssTitty:** dont tell me what to do

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** It just is.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** arent you all in class. Gerome did you just walk out of class

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Again.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : my phone battery is almost dead, so i gotta go home

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF** : ….Maybe.

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF** : also, stay in class Inigo.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Both of you stay in class - that is an order.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : I CANT MY PHONES GONNA DIE

 

**The Fucking Strong** : YOU DON’T NEED A PHONE TO BE IN SCHOOL

 

**EternalAssTitty** : YES I DO YOU FUCKING TROGLODYTE

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** I have a charger.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : I would die without you ily

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** I didn’t say you could use it.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : Cmoooooonnnnn

 

**EternalAssTitty** : pleaaaaaaasssssseeeeee ;*

 

**Inigo’s Emo BF:** meet me behind the bleachers ;*

 

**luCENA** : OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

 

**luCENA** : I AM GOING TO CASTRATE YOU GEROME. I FUCKING SWEAR TO NAGA.

 

**EternalAssTitty** : lmao kk ;*

 

**luCENA** : i cant castrate you but i can throw all your face masks out

 

**NahBro** : i chime in, HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF

 

**NahBro** : USING FUCKING DMS

 

**EternalAssTitty** : NO! IT’S MUCH BETTER TO FACE THESE THINGS WITH A SENSE OF POISE AND RATIONALITY.

 

**luCENA** : I see you are picking up gerome’s emo tendencies.

 

_Chat Log Start: 12:43pm_

 

**NahBro** : So.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** …So??

 

**NahBro** : Me and yarne…. May have….. Possiblely………. Perhaps

 

**YiffYiff** : we got kicked outta the mall L/O.L

 

**The Fucking Strong:** FOR WHAT?

 

**Laurent** : Illegal substance abuse? Shoplifting? Public nudity? Public urination? The list goes on….

 

**YiffYiff** : tHAAT was…. ONE TIME!

 

**NahBro** : Well…. JUST YARNE WAS HIGH!!!

 

**Laurent** : You are an accessory to crime.

 

**NahBro** : are you the fucking Trüllbus The Crime Eater now

 

**Laurent** : Whom’st?

 

**YiffYiff** : JADSLJSLKJS ARE YOU GOING TO STOP ALL THE CRIME IN SAINTS ROW????

 

**Laurent** : I’m even more confused now.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Take it to the bank boys! This ones just like bart.

 

**Laurent** : Uh.

 

**YiffYiff** : Just like bart!

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Hello, Trash Hulk.

 

**NahBro** : Where is metal husband.

 

**YiffYiff** : ROACHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Odin Fart:** dsjfdskfjkldsljkfjskdlfjkldsfkljdsjlkfdjldslfslk

 

**Laurent** : Im assuming a mass hallucigen has leaked out, causing everyone

 

**luCENA** : oh god no he’s here

 

**Odin Fart:** Its Britney Bitch

 

**Laurent** : I’m assuming you’re speaking of our friend, Owain Fart?

 

**YiffYiff** : lMAOOOOOOA SLKDFJDSKFLJJL FART!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Odin Fart:**  KASJFLAJSFD;LKJ;DFKJJKDS;LAFKJSDF

 

**Odin Fart:** oh shit its gangrel and his BEES!!!

 

**NahBro** : im mad that yarne smoked all the good weed and im just here at his house, sober.

 

**EnteralAssTitty:** Crisis Adverted. Thank You Biased Bee Gods.

 

**Laurent** : Come to the library,  we have a stash somewhere.

 

**NahBro** : WHAT!!!!!

 

**Laurent** : You can sniff the book glue

 

**NahBro** : oh lol ill pass on that nerdy shit

 

**YiffYiff** : yeah this is an elmers glue only house, my dad said so

 

**Laurent** : Your father also condones thievery, so I am unable to take any of his words to heart.

 

**NahBro** : lol hes joking. This is a crayola house!

 

**Laurent** : i can’t tell where the irony ends and truths begins

 

**luCENA** : if it makes you feel better, neither do i

 

**The Fucking Strong:** what does….. your father even do for a living……. Hell what does your MOTHER do for a living yarne????

 

**YiffYiff** : my other takes fursuit commissions!!!!!

 

**YiffYiff** : my dad is. Hes a. Repairment.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** oh so thats how nah got her dragon… scale suit??? Thingy????

 

**NahBro** : ITS STILL CALLED A FURSUIT YOU FUCKASS!!!!

 

**The Fucking Strong:** same shit

 

**NahBro** : No!!!!! Fuck of you weed

 

**NahBro** : weed

 

**NahBro** : WEEB

 

**YiffYiff** : aacutally, that’s controversial … OwO

 

**YiffYiff** : some!! Ppl say otheriwse lol :33ccc

 

**The Fucking Strong:** nice i dont care

 

**NahBro** : are you getting into furry politics

 

**YiffYiff** : 3:

 

**NahBro** : anyhow go watch naruto with your mom you fucking weeb lol

 

**The Fucking Strong:** i don’t even like naruto.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** we have taste in this house.

 

**NahBro** : i think thats fucking blasphemy

 

**The Fucking Strong:** eat shit

 

**luCENA** : do you and your dad do anime poses with your sword collection lmao

 

**The Fucking Strong:** SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD

 

**NahBro** : LIKE THOSE FUCKING JOJO POSES LMAO

 

**The Fucking Strong:** JOJO DOESNT EVEN HAVE SWORDS IN IT OHHHHHH MY GODDD

 

**The Fucking Strong:** IF YOU’RE GONNA REFERENCE SOMETHING DO IT FUCKING RIGHT YOU CASUAL

 

**NahBro** : ohhhh excUUUUSE ME princess

 

**YiffYiff** : lamao do you think she watched that racing horse anime with her mom lOLOLOOL XDdDDD

 

**NahBro** : what about that one horse dating app

 

**luCENA** : THE WHAT???

 

**NahBro** : itS A . HORSE DATING APP. CALLED. MY HORSE PRINCE OR SOME SHIT. U DATE A HORSE WITH A HUMAN FACE.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Uma Musume hasnt aired yet as far as i know. Also i want that app to burn.

 

**NahBro** : How Would You Care About That.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** <:3c

 

**luCENA** : kjelle anime furry confirmed?

 

**The Fucking Strong:** We both know that not only can I kick your ass, i can kick everyone in your family's ass *and* your fathers bodyguards ass, straight into the fucking ground. (sorry cynthia :( )

 

**luCENA** : you cant fight people with those pathetic ninja hand signs

 

**YiffYiff** : you mean those naruto thingsw

 

**The Fucking Strong:**

 

**NahBro** : i can feel my mother having an aneurysm over you calling it that

 

**YiffYiff** : i cant attedst that YOU are the one tryong not to freak out over this

 

**NahBro** : shut the fuck up

 

**YiffYiff** : ¯ \\_{^OwO^}_/ ¯

 

**NahBro** : im going to be 100% honestt you all missed the threee whole minutes of him slapping at his phone keyboard trying to make that monstrousity

 

**The Fucking Strong:** we saw it

 

**luCENA** : i thought he was gonna start rping like owain lmao

 

**YiffYiff** : Out off the darkenss, the might BEAST has AWAKENINGED  WERERABBIT APPERES;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

 

**YiffYiff** : UwU

 

**YiffYiff** : OwO

 

**YiffYiff** : AWAKEN, FOUL BEAST.

 

**Odin Fart:** you DARE make a MOCKERY of my SACRED CRAFT?????

 

**YiffYiff** : ya bitc h

 

**luCENA** : ooo nerd fight! Nerd Fight!!!

 

**Odin Fart:** Pah! I see you and Kjelle planning to LARP. or worse: Actually Fighting with real swords in the park

 

**YiffYiff** : oooo can we wwatch? OwO

 

**NahBro:** no we cannot.

 

**Odin Fart:** I will battle you with my scared Missletain, fiend, will that sate your bloodlust? Will that quench your desire to murder the written langu SHIT GANGREL JKSKF;LSKDJFASKLDJF

 

**YiffYiff** : bunnies dont fight owo

 

**NahBro** : lmaoooo gangrels bees will fuck u UP

 

**luCENA** : thats what you get for implying me and kjelle were irresponsible enough to get into some petty fight

 

**The Fucking Strong:** i AM  petty enough to fight you over this dont fucking call me a furry????

 

**luCENA** : i mean is that even an insult???

 

**NahBro** : yes

 

**YiffYiff** : nah loll xDDD

 

**Odin Fart:** i hope you guys know that i have to read my convo outloud to the entire class now because i got caught with my phone an im mentioning all of you by name.

 

**NahBro:** whos in your class can i give a shoutout?

 

**Odin Fart:** Archer B-12

 

**NahBro:** hes an asshole kill him thankies  <3

 

**The Fucking Strong:** IF YOU NAME ME, I WILL MURDER YOU MYSELF, WITH ONE OF MY ANIME SWORDS

 

**The Fucking Strong:** YOU’LL HAVE MORE TO WORRY ABOUT THEN GANGREL AND HIS BEES.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p93u4PV8_o JUST LIKE BART


	10. Gangrel's PISS Farm (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owain uncovers Gangrel's deepest, darkest, secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been...so long ... we're finally here ... not being shit ... woo ...

_ Chat Log Start: Tuesday - 11:11am _

 

**★HeroOfJustice★ :** ★★~make a wish~★★

 

**Odin Fart:** i wish i forgot what i just learned about gangrel

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** i wish i never find out

 

**EternalAssTitty:** im a nosy bitch 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** spill it

 

**Odin Fart:** FOOLISH MORTAL, DO YOU DARE SEEK KNOWLEDGE THAT SHALL DESTROY YOUR MIND?????

 

**EternalAssTitty:** yes.

 

**luCENA:** Owain, how in nagas name do you even find out all this information

 

**NahBro:** S P I L L I T

 

**Odin Fart:** It is imperative that i learn all my mortal enemies secrets...

 

**Sévéra:** (eyes emoji)

 

**EternalAssTitty:** YOU CANT JUST BAIT US WITH THIS INFO YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO TELL US

 

**Sévéra:** this is clickbait owain fucking spill the tea

 

**Odin Fart:** Shocking Information About Lonely Beekeeper Teacher: What Lurks Below The Labcoat???

Click the link to find out! --->> [https://amielleon.dreamwidth.org/237826.html] <<\-----

 

**Gay Rights!:** Oh i see you found my dreamwidth!

 

**EternalAssTitty:** Im not clicking that

 

**Sévéra:** Owain I Am Going To Kill You Spill The Fucking Tea. 

 

**Sévéra:** i will hunt you down like the dog you are i know your fucking schedule just tell us

 

**Gay Rights!:** sev why do u hate my essay so much 

 

**Odin Fart:** :(((((

 

**Odin Fart:** NSFW //// dont read this cynth you are too pure. Too good. A sweet cinnamon bun ////

 

Okay so i was digging thru gangrels desk looking for the answer sheet for the next test and i found a porn magazine and it was filled with piss kinks and all this weird shit and i almost threw up and i stole it yarne has it rn its. It Is Certainly Something.

 

**Odin Fart:** ////// OKAY CYNTH ITS CLEAR /////

 

**EternalAssTitty:** YOU’RE FUCKING LYING

 

**EternalAssTitty:** YOU’RE A LYING ASS BITCH THIS IS SOME OF YOUR RP SHIT

 

**YiffYiff:** i have the magazine in my hands right now

 

**YiffYiff:** im literally shaking this is so fucking wild im hiding in the gym bathroom looking at this

 

**Sévéra:** dsjJKDSKJDS I M SCREENSHOTTING THIS AND SENDING IT TO ALL MY GROUPCHATS RN 

 

**YiffYiff:** asjdklfalsdfj OH MY GOD 

 

**Odin Fart:** NO YOU CANT THIS IS A TOXIC INFORMATION HAZARD WE HAVE TO DESTROY IT

 

**EternalAssTitty:** yarne im coming to meet you i need fucking photos of this

 

**luCENA:** do we have proof its gangrels tho 

 

**NahBro:** which magazine is it bc i know for a fact i have a friend who drew the cover of one. I need this for scientific reasons.

 

**Odin Fart:** it was in his desk. In his classroom. Next to all his bee shit. 

 

**luCENA:** If sev is going to release this info publicly we need proof its his 

 

**Sévéra:** i already leaked everything

 

**EternalAssTitty:** me too

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** You fucking heathens. 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** why didnt you all @ me thats so rude.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** sorry sweetie :*

 

**NahBro:** maybe stop acting like ur too good to check the groupchat regularly 

 

**luCENA:** ohhhhh sick burn

 

**luCENA:** it looks like you need um.. 

 

**NahBro:** you can do it lucy i believe in you

 

**luCENA:** a uh. A bandaid. 

 

**Odin Fart:** So close! The answer was: a burn heal!

 

**Sévéra:** no it’s not you fucking loser it’s “cold water for that burn”

 

**luCENA:** i see… there are many ways to rub in burn… i must take notes

 

**EternalAssTitty:** im glad sis is learning to loosen up but I NEED SOME MORE INFO I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

 

**EternalAssTitty:** MY GROUP CHATS HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

 

**EternalAssTitty:** you know that scene girl peri. She keeps bugging me about it. Please shes so confused i cant leave her hanging like this

 

**NahBro:** OH her!! She has cool hair.

 

**Sévéra:** INIGO SEND PICS OF THE MAG 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** im almost at the gym im advoiding the security guard

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** oh thats my dad!!!!

 

**EtenralAssTitty:** NOIRE WHY CAN’T I EVER SEE YOUR DAD

 

**EternalAssTitty:** ALSO NOW I EXTRA HAVE TO AVOID HIM BE HE SAW ME MAKING OUT WITH GEROME

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Wait. He works at this school. 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** yea!!! Hes very good at his job.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** I Have To Drop Out. 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** OHH no;; you need an education!!!

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** inigo is rich he can carry me through life

 

**Sévéra:** DONT USE INIGO FOR HIS MONEY YOU GOLDDIGGER

 

**Gay Rights!:** hey like my mom except my dad isn’t rich. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** everyone she knows is still in disbelief.

 

**Sévéra:** maybe your dad is just hot

 

**Gay Rights!:** i look exactly like him

 

**Sévéra:** nvm

 

**EternalAssTitty:** id gladly carry you through life, my handsome trophy husband ;)

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** never mind im staying in school

 

**EternalAssTitty:** well my dad always is calling morgans dad a lady killer

 

**EternalAssTitty:** ALSO BE MY TROPHY HUSBAND YOU ASSHOLE

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** can we do this in private

 

**EternalAssTitty:** no the people need to know 

 

**YiffYiff:** Inigo are you ever going to come to the bathroom i cant hold onto this magazine anylonger

 

**YiffYiff:** its corrupting my pure virgin soul

 

**EternalAssTitty:** IM COMING  BE PATIENT I WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCHOOL 

 

**NahBro:** you are a virgin but you sure as hell ain’t pure

 

**Sévéra:** im not surprised that hes a virgin

 

**YiffYiff:** so mean… u-u

 

**NahBro** : be nice to him rabbits mate for life you know

 

**Sévéra:** hhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

**luCENA:** i dont know whats worse reading that or reading about gangrels piss kink

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** his what now

 

**luCENA:** CYNTHIA

 

**luCENA:** CYNTH YOU DIDNT READ THAT

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** why is gangrel so close to the word “piss”

 

**NahBro:** CYNTHIA WE FAILED YOU… AFTER ALL OWAIN DID TO TRY AND PROTECT YOU…..

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** Lucy… I;m scared

 

**NahBro:** CYNTHIA CLOSE THE APP. LOOK AT CATS. PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

 

**EternalAssTitty:** okay i finally have pictures its taking forever to send these msgs but that builds the Drama

 

(attached: 4 pictures)

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** oh thats what a kink is

 

**EternalAssTitty:** oh shit sorry cynth lol you werent supposed to see that lol

 

**Sévéra:** E W OHH MY GOD 

 

**★HeroOfJustice★: I** t’s fine I forgive you!!! ^o^ I guess i had to learn about this one day u-u

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** Owain!!! You sure are typing a lot~

 

**Sévéra:** this is. quality gold. 

 

**Odin Fart:** YOU FOOL!!!!! YOU UTTER BUFFOON!! INIGO YOU SCOUNDREL YOU UNLEASHED UPON THE PUREST MAIDEN, THE GENTLEST AND PUREST SOUL IN ALL THE 7 SKYS AND SEAS, THE PLAGUE!!! CURSE YOU INIGO, FOR YOUR ACTIONS I WILL RAIN DOWN A THOUSAND ARROWS UPON YOUR PERSONAGE, I SHALL CURSE YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE (except for lucina. Wait lucina is why she was in this chat. Only a minor curse shall befall upon her) TO UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS. INIGO! THE DAMAGE YOU HAVE CAUSED IS IRREDEEMABLE, FOR EVEN HAVING YOUR ETERNAL SOUL BURNING  IN HADES IS TOO LIGHT OF A PUNISHMENT!

 

What do you have to say you FIEND!!

 

**EternalAssTitty:** wow

 

**Odin Fart:** ((is that a good wow or a bad wow?))

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** Very vengeful, lacking in the middle there. 7/10 too many caps.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** cynth ill take u to a resturant to make up for this

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** YAY!!!

 

**Gay!Brady:** I opened this in the middle of the hallway you perverted fucks

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** inigo im breaking up with you for sending those pics

 

**EternalAssTitty:** BABE NO 

 

**Gay Rights!:** we can sell this story to the press 

 

**Gay!Brady:** wait whos porn is this

 

**Gay Rights!:** oh my comrade, its the bee keeper himself

 

**Gay!Brady:** YOU HAVE TO BE SHITTING ON MY LEGS

 

**Gay Rights!:** unfortunately I am not, my brother in arms 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** who started that god awful saying its almost as bad as the porn

 

**NahBro:** calm down you angsty fuck 

 

**Gay!Brady:** Gangrel did actually.

 

**Inigos EMo BF:** … you have to be shitting on my legs   
  


**Gay Rights!:** thats the spirit! 

 

**Sévéra:** GUYS ME AND INIGOS PHONES ARE EXPLODING I CANT EVEN FUCKING SEE THIS CHATROOM IN THE FLOOD OF IT ALL

 

**Gay Rights!:** Turn on night mode?

 

**EnteralAssTitty:** im fucking screaming OWAIN YOU CHANGED HISTORY

 

**Gay Rights!:** think we can get it on the schools twitter 

 

**Sévéra:** and miss out on all this?

 

**Sévéra:** i gotta keep the people Informed.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** okay so i read through all of this and 1) natsy but more importantly

 

**The Fucking Strong:** 2) literally everyone is talking about this i think we are gonna get gangrel fired at this rate

 

**EternalAssTitty:** good fuck that guy

 

**The Fucking Strong:** … what if you get sued…

 

**Odin Fart:** I DON'T WANT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** im glad to hear owain knows what he started, at least

 

**luCENA:** can you get fired for being into nasty shit? 

 

**NahBro:** well, it was on school grounds. We are minors. Thats… pretty bad

 

**Sévéra:** god damn youre right this is bad. this shit is disturbing

 

**EternalAssTitty: i** didnt even take pictures of the worst shit i think there was vore in there

 

**The Fucking Strong:** i am going to murder gangrel brb

 

**YiffYiff:** there’s no vore you fool. You kink plebeian. However it did see-

 

**YiffYiff:** wait no this isnt the place for this

 

**luCENA:** thank you for censoring yourself

 

**YiffYiff:** well inigo has the magazine now so you could look at it if you wanted

 

**luCENA:** if i see that fucking cursed object im burning it

 

**EternalAssTitty:** NO ITS OUR PROOF

 

**Sévéra:** he’s showing it to everyone 

 

**luCENA:** where are you i’m coming to burn it 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** N O GEROME PROTECT ME

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** im not protecting that cursed magazine 

 

**Gay!Brady:** hey inigo did you censor all of our names when you spread the screenshots

 

**EternalAssTitty:** i only censored owains cuz i didnt want him to get in trouble

 

**EternalAssTitty:** NO ONES GONNA KNOW WHO WE WITH THESE FUCKING NAMES 

 

**Sévéra:** yes cuz everyone knows yarne is the only fucking furry in the school so he has to be yiff yiff

 

**YiffYiff:** WRONG! Nah is a furry. ranulf and lethe are furries too!! OwO

 

**Gay!Brady:** people are getting their phones confiscated 

 

**Sévéra:** IT WAS SARCASM YOU FURRY FUCK

 

**YiffYiff:** UnU

 

**Gay Rights!:** id love to see the school try to crack down on everyones phones

 

**EternalAssTitty:** LMAO!!!

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** if anyone tries to take my phone i’m throwing down 

 

**NahBro:** why…. what do you have to hide? 

 

**YiffYiff:** OwO???

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** nothing i just dont want people to be on my fucking phone?

 

**EternalAssTitty:** did you save those nudes

 

**luCENA:**

****

 

**luCENA:** WAIT WHAT

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** ….do you have no shame? 

 

**NahBro:** im going to throw up 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** so you DID save them? 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** can we talk about this. in private. 

 

**luCENA** : inigo were going to have a talk 

 

**Sévéra** : INIGO WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOHT THIS 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** WHY do you feel to need to know this information. 

 

**Sévéra:** bc he’s my bff??? bffs share these types of things duh. 

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** it’s literally none of your business what the fuck 

 

**Sévéra:** except it is so like. 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** SO MUCH IS HAPPENING TODAY PLZ 

 

**NahBro:** k well it’s lunch now so like. we all need to meet up at the spot and see this irl @everyone

 

**EternalAssTitty:** kk 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Inigo, Owain, Yarne, im beating all of your asses into the ground 

 

**YiffYiff:** OH NO UnU 

 

**NahBro:** LMAOOOO

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gangrel has the nastiest kinks canon


	11. gangrel's PISS farm (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO UPLOADS AND TWO DAYS? whomst ...

_ Chatlog Start: Wednesday 12:59pm _

 

**Laurent:** Well, you all have 5 minutes to explain to me why we had a school assembly, and then another 5 minutes to explain to us why gangrel is yelling at everyone in my AP Chem class.

 

**Gay Rights!:** Odin Dark found piss kink porn in gangrels desk and then Inigo and Sev spread screenshots around and then it got out of hand and now. Well. This.

 

**Odin Fart:** How fair thee, egghead! Sorry for the woes i cast down upons’t you, for I didn't mean to dullen the… Boundless joy… that must accompany from returning from thine college tour.

 

**Gay Rights!:** oh yeah how was ur tour thingy

 

**Gay Rights!:** i almost forgot about that no wonder you missed all the fun

 

**Laurent:** Yes, it was rather nice, thank you for asking. Also, if any of you wish to bring food to the boys bathroom in the science wing I shall compensate by sharing footage of gangrel, as the kids say, “utterly losing his fucking shit.”

 

**EternalAssTitty:** I AM ON MY WAY.

 

**Laurent:** as we speak, i am preparing the finest of toiletries for us to feast upon

 

**Odin Fart:** nice verabage

 

**The Fucking Strong:** Laurent.

 

**Laurent:** Kjelle.

 

**The Fucking Strong:** on a scale of one to nuclear meltdown how bad is the situation right now

 

**Odin Fart:** what have I Done. 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** God’s Work. 

 

**Laurent:** I can hear him yelling. The bathrooms are a good 5 rooms away from his classroom.

 

**Gay Rights!:** POR FAVOR! Um minuto de silenco aos sobreviventes de Chernobyl.

 

**Laurent:** Hablo no Espanol

 

**EteneralAssTitty:** LAURENT IM RIGHT DOWN THE HALL GET THE VIDEO READY

 

**Odin Fart:** WAIT IM COMING TOO 

 

**Gay Rights!:** Mentiroso

 

_ T/N: Astra: MENTIROSO MEANS “LIAR” IN SPANISH _

_ T/N: Toge: KEIKAKU MEANS PLAN _

_ T/N: Astra: shit up this is my joke _

 

**Laurent:** Do you have your headphones i cant find mine. But all 3 thrilling parts are ready

 

**EternalAssTitty:** YEA.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** THREE PARTS?

 

**Laurent:** I got two videos myself, and i was recently sent another by a brave soul…

 

**EternalAssTitty:** ohh i am SO fucking ready for this

 

**NahBro:** TL;DR?

 

**EternalAssTitty:** this is laurent- inigo is watching the videos on my phone. the first video he starts out rather calm and he is shaking. But, he gets increasingly angry as he continues and he looks down at the letters he was supposed to hand out and he starts throwing them all over the place. He knocks everything besides his laptop off his desk and then throws all the whiteboard markers at the class.

 

**Gay Rights!:** HOLY SHIT….. WAIT IS THAT THE LETTER I GOT I DIDNT READ THAT HILY SHIT

 

**Odin Fart:** LSDFJSKLDJ WAIT I DIDNT GET A LETTER???

 

**Gay Rights!:** whos ur teacher lol i think i saw a lot of them dump them out

 

**EternalAssTitty:** The second video is taken from me hiding behind the science counters, which i rather quickly slipped behind because he started hitting desks and yelling in kids faces. He begins to take peoples phones and throwing them on the ground and forcing the student to try and unlock them. He’s accusing everyone at this point of slander and defamation. He sees me recording from the back and starts throwing things my way, and storming my way too. A few kids hold him back which is enough for me to flee from the back door

 

**Odin Fart:** LAURENT YOU ARE SO FUCKING BRAVE AND SO FUCKING ORANGE

 

**EternalAssTitty:** i have red hair, but thank you

 

**Sévéra:** OH MY GOD…. laurent are you gonna upload these??

 

**EternalAssTitty:** perhaps, i dont want to get into legal trouble though

 

**Sévéra:**  IF ANYONE SHOULD SUE ITS YOU OH MY GOD WHAT IF HE KILLS YOU???

 

**EternalAssTitty:** doubt it. Anyhow, the next video

 

**EternalAssTitty:** the last video was sent to me by Leo: its gangrel crying at his desk. He wrote “LAURENT MUST REPENT FOR HIS SINS” on the whiteboard. Its pans to the rest of the classroom- most of the glass in the cabinets are broken and other students are sweeping it up. Gangrel is in between shouting and sobbing and it’s quite pathetic to see. 

 

**EternalAssTitty** : personally, i cant tell if its actually his porn or it was just stashed here

 

**Laurent:** lol no fucking way he;d throw this big of a bitch fit if it wasnt his

 

**luCENA:** god just switch back phones im having an aneurysm seeing inigos username next to something with proper grammar.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** True enough. 

 

**EternalAsstitty:** im back bitches 

 

**Laurent:** Anyhow. I propose we rename the group chat to “Gangrels Piss Kink”.

 

**Gay Rights!:** no gangrels bee farm is iconic. 

 

**Gay!Brady** : i think if i saw “gangrels piss kink” at the beginning of every message sent here id Blow a gasket

 

**★HeroOfJustice★** : i like bees!!!! I dont like piss kinks u-u

 

**Laurent:** All of you are weak and evolution is coming for you

 

**luCENA:** say that again

 

**Laurent:** Lucina is very pretty and athletic, also she scores higher than me on every test.

 

**luCENA:** Thats better.

 

**NahBro:** ... what just happened 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** lucy has an iron grip on the dicks of every boy in school lol

 

**Laurent:** She does NOT have an ‘iron grip’ on my genitals

 

**Gay Rights!:** Ya thats me

 

**Laurent:** .

 

**luCENA:** DONT GO AROUND SAYING NASTY SHIT LIKE THAT 

 

**luCENA:** I AM GOING TO THROW ALL YOUR NAIL POLISH OUT

 

**EternalAssTitty:** NO!!!!!!

 

**luCENA:** No more holo. No more dual chrome.  No more liquid mirror. No more peel off base coats.

 

**EternalAssTitty:** tHE INHUMANITY

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** calm down you drama queen 

 

**Laurent:** I’m currently witnessing Inigo having a breakdown

 

**Laurent:** It’s like Owian threatened to curse him

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** fucking hell

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** hold on i’m coming to get him 

 

**Laurent:** no its fine i deal with this a lot. i got it.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** i don’t trust you with him 

 

**luCENA:** is it because of your mother

 

**Laurent:** Yes.

 

**Laurent:** Anyhow.

 

**Laurent:** where is the center of this hurricane

 

**Odin Fart:** Did you summon me??

 

**Laurent:** no i meant @ Sévéra

 

**Sévéra:** what do YOU need egghead

 

**Laurent:** can you use all your information gathering powers to find out if gangrel is going to fired

 

**Odin Fart:** I COULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!

 

**Odin Fart:** Odin Dark has his ways of collecting his information.. His DARK WAYS…

 

**Laurent** : Well.

 

**Sévéra:**  lol dipshit doesnt know more than the assembly told him

 

**Sévéra:**  LOL I CAN STIL HEAR THE IDIOT PRINCIAPLE

 

**Sévéra:**  “There will be Serious Punishment to the students who started this rumor against our best teacher” 

 

**NahBro:** LMAO gangrel couldnt teach even if Bill Nye wrote his lesson plans out for him

 

**YiffYiff:** >rumour

>implying its fake

 

**NahBro:** HE BASICALLY ADMITTED IT WAS HIS AFTER HIS BREAKDOWN LOLOLOL

 

**EternalAssTitty:** im back 

 

**luCENA:** do u feel better?? Sorry for threatening you so harshly i feel bad

 

**EternalAssTitty:** gerome is taking me out for food lol 

 

**Laurent:** I’m coming along too!

 

**EternalAssTitty:** dont remind me

 

**Laurent** : im sitting right next to you in geromes car

 

**EternalAsstitty:** im gonna go sit in geromes lap 

 

**NahBro:** WHAT WHY DIDNT YOU BRING ME ALONG

 

**Laurent:** He is driving you are gonna get us into an accident.

 

**Laurent:** Also, Gerome has manners so he invited me along. I also fear what gangrel will do to me 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** okay first of all i’ve done this before. second of all fuck you 

 

**Laurent:** If I die today, use this chat in court to blame my death on Inigo’s uncontrollable libido. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** wait gerome is gay how is he driving

 

**Gay Rights!:** @INIGOS EMO BF HOW ARE YOU DRIVING

 

**Laurent:** Badly. He’s driving badly. 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** OH LIKE YOU CAN DRIVE ANY BETTER/???

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** we pulled over and switched drivers and he drives much better than both of us.

 

**luCENA:** inigo u crashed like 3 cars 

 

**Gay Rights!:** Laurent is straight passing confirmed?

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** he said pansexuals are the only gays who can drive

 

**Gay Rights!:** oh its must be from fucking all those pans

 

**luCENA:** EXCUSE ME?

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** he said you would know 

 

**Gay Rights!:** turn around and pick me up from school we are either going to fight or vigorously make out

 

**Sévéra:** wait are y’all dating or 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** OHHH ITS GETTING SPICY IN HERE

 

**Gay Rights!:** ;3c

 

**Sévéra:** SINCE WHEN 

 

**EterrnalAssTitty:** I AM LITERALLY YELLING THEY;VE BEEN DATING SINCE THE GROUP CHAT STARTED

 

**Gay Rights!:** this chat has been a social experiment to see how long it would take for you all to figure out we were dating and BOY was this fun

 

**Sévéra:**  WHAT

 

**Gay Rights!:** i have to delete this chat now its been fun guys!!!

 

**Sévéra:** WHAT 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** tbh they only reason we know is bc they make out in me and geromes spot too apparently 

 

**Gay Rights!:** it’s the gay spot 

 

**Gay Rights!:** also you were as shocked as everyone else that we were dating. Do u think we were just making out there for funsies. For an experiment? 

 

**EternalAssTitty:** i mean. you’re dating laurent. so it could be. 

 

**Gay Rights!:** Touche.

 

**Sévéra:** wheres the ` you coward

 

**Gay Rights!:** you’re hoarding all of the `s

 

**NahBro:** wow today has been wild first there was gangrels piss assembly and now morgan reveals they were dating the biggest stick in the mud this whole time 

 

**Gay Rights!:** it was never really a secret lol 

 

**Gay Rights!:** anyways are u guys coming to get me or

 

**EternalAssTitty:** what are you trying to do turn this into a double date

 

_ Gay Rights! changed EternalAssTitty’s name to Horny on Main _

 

**Gay Rights!:** yes

 

**Gay Rights!:** pick me up cowards i dont have my license

 

**Horny on Main:** WHY’D YOU CHANGE MY NAME NOW I WAS JUST GETTING USED TO IT

 

**Gay Rights!:** I like the change!

 

**Gay Rights!:** no we have to keep the memes relevant and up to date

 

**★HeroOfJustice★** : OH!!! OH!!! I want to be relevant and up to date!!!!

 

**Gay Rights!** : cynth you are ALWAYS relevant

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:**  but am I up to date??? (thinking emoji)

 

**Sévéra:** Sweetie what do you want your new name to be?

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** OH I GET TO PICK!!! Well.. i really like this one u-u

 

**YiffYiff:** hey i havent had a name change yet

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** shut up this is my time to shine 

 

**YiffYiff:** 3:

 

**Sévéra:** i never expected that from you *wipes tear* im so proud…

 

**Horny on Main:** sev stop infecting everyone with ur bitchiness

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** ^o^

 

**NahBro:** OH MY GOD IS THIS… Character Development??!!? NANI!?!?!?

 

**Odin Fart:** OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU

 

**Sévéra:** you stop being horny on main 

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** can whatever odin fart said be my new name?!?!?

 

**Gay Rights!:** no.

 

**Gay Rights!:** you know i cant really think of a good name for u rn

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** :(((( 

 

**Sévéra:** what if we changed it to mega pony princess

 

**Horny on Main:** what if its Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** I think that breaks the character limit :(((((

 

**NahBro:** UWU on Main

 

**Gay!Brady:** Gay!Cynthia

 

**Gay!Brady:** wait no Lesbian!Cynthia

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** ooo i like that!!

 

**★HeroOfJustice★:** I like.. ALL OF THESE ToT I CAN’T PICK

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Pegasus Breeder?

 

_ Gay Rights! Changed ★HeroOfJustice★’s name to Indecisive Lesbian   _

  
  


**Indecisive Lesbian:** GEWOME!!

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** :O MORGAN!!!

 

**Gay Rights!:** I like the change!

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO STOP CALLING ME THAT

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** Sowwy Mw. Gewome u-u

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** ID DO ANYTHING FOR YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** Anything Mw. Gewome?

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** I’m not falling for your petty, sad trap

 

**YiffYiff:** wow thats cold Mw. Gewome

 

**Gay Rights!:** yeah Mw. Gewome

 

**NahBro:** Mw. Gewome hawve a heawt 

 

**Horny on Main:** please stop calling him Mw. Gewome hes gonna lose it inside of Applebees.

 

**NahBro:** DO YOU WANT APPLES? OR BEES?

 

**Horny on Main:** BEES? 

 

**NahBro:** HE CHOSE THE BEES.

 

**Laurent:** Mw. Gewome pwease behave youwself

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** Morgan.

 

**Gay Rights!:** Mw. Gewome.

 

**Inigos Emo BF:** thank you for not changing my name to Mw. Gewome

 

_ Laurent changed Inigo’s Emo BF’s nickname to Mw. Gewome _

 

**Gay Rights!** I didnt even ask laurent to do that he did that of his own free will

 

**Gay Rights!:** this is why we’re perfect together!

 

**Laurent:** they wouldnt let me come and pick you up

 

**Laurent:** Revenge is best served cold. Like this pepis

 

**Mw. Gewome:** I HAVE NO GAS. 

 

**Laurent:** We passed by at least 2 gas stations and I offered to buy gas for you.

 

**Mw. Gewome:** theres still mileage on my cara asshole

 

**Mw. Gewome:** why am i texting you when you are literally across the table from me

 

**Gay Rights!:** the power of gangrels bees compels you!

 

**Mw. Gewome:** if Inigo wasnt paying for this lunch i would make you foot the bill

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> astra: me, lifting a wine glass to that one commenter: heres to laurent/ morgan


	12. Chromathan's Cishet Castle

_ Chat Log Start: Sunday - 4:20 am  _

 

_ Gay Rights! changed their nickname to Heterophobia is Real _

 

_ Gay Rights! Changed Horny on Main’s nickname to Straight Pride _

 

_ Laurent changed their nickname to slutboi69 _

  
  


**Heterophobia is Real:** :3c

 

**Sévéra:** what the fuck 

 

**Straight Pride:** I have an important announcement to make.

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** :oooooooooo

 

**Mw. Gewome:** this would have worked if you were not literally dating another man (me)

 

**Straight Pride:**  I am a cishet. From now on this is a str8 friendly environment. Anyone making heterophobic jokes will be banned and then I’ll sic gangrels bees on them.

 

**Heterophobia is Real:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

**Sévéra:** what does laurent being a slut have to do with all this

 

**Slutboi69:** cuz im cheating on morgan lolol

 

**Straight Pride:** which made me realize i am a heterosexual male. 

 

**Straight Pride:** never again….. The gays have betrayed

 

**Heterophobia is Real:** HEY!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!

 

**Mw. Gewome:** I am literally in your bed right now. 

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** GASP!!!! L A U R E N T!! How dare you. I’m calling your mother

 

**Slutboi69:** i dont have a mother lololol

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** WHAT!!!!1!!!1!

 

**Heterophobia is Real:** wow laurent killed his mother so he could cheat on me and sell hard drugs

 

**Straight Pride:** this is why i left buzzfeed

 

**Sévéra:** please go to fucking sleep 

 

**YiffYiff:** easter isn't on 420 this year guys just put the weed down. Go to bed. 

 

**Heterophobia is Real:** APRIL FOOLS LOLOLOLOLOL

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:**  OH COME ON??!?! AND I ACTUALLY BELIEVED YOU??!?!

 

**Sévéra:** this was the dumbest shit ever what the fuck 

 

**Slutboi69:** i havent smoked any blunts but ill hook you up with some coke if u want

 

**Slutboi69:** Oh can I finally stop this silly charade now???

 

**Heterophobia is Real:** ;3c

 

**The Fucking Strong:** You three are the dumbest people i know sometimes

 

_ Heterophobia is Real changed their nickname to Gay Rights! _

 

_ Gay Rights! changed Straight Pride’s nickname to Horny on Main _

 

_ Slutboi69 changed their nickname to Laurent _

 

**Horny on Main:** okay but did I make u laugh??

 

**Sévéra:** no you woke me up and pissed me off

 

**The Fucking Strong:** oh but this is a good time to tell you all

 

**The Fucking Strong:** I broke both of my legs and my mom broke her arm bc some asshole ran into us while on our morning jog

 

**Gay Rights!:** OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY???

 

**The Fucking Strong** : yeah im fine my legs are just fucking broken

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** no!!!!! T-T this is horrible!! mom!!!!!!!

 

**The Fucking Strong:** shh its okay cyth its gonna be okay

 

**The Fucking Strong:** because its april fools day and i just PRANKED THE SHIT OUT OF Y’ALL

 

**Gay Rights!:** WOW. never saw THAT coming

 

**The Fucking Strong:** for clarity: my mom kept bugging me to do this

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** once again your mother pulls one over on me  >:T 

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** I WON’T FALL FOR IT NEXT YEAR!!!!!

  
**Gay Rights!:** lol and next year ill actually be straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy april fucking fools heres a dumbass short chapter we spit out in like 10 minutes


	13. L o s s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....................../´¯/)   
> ....................,/¯../   
> .................../..../   
> ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸   
> ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\   
> ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')   
> .........\\.................'...../   
> ..........''...\\.......... _.·´   
> ............\\..............(   
> ..............\\.............\\...

_ Chat Log Start: Thursday - 3:45am _

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** AWAKEN FOUL BEASTS!

 

**Sévéra:** Who the fuck are you calling a foul beast

 

**NahBro:** UwU

 

**NahBro:** OwO

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** Ah, the twin-tailed fiend has appeared before me, and hath brought along the dragon maiden! Comrades! Hear my cry! 

 

**Nahbro:** oh this is some Srs Shit

 

**Sévéra:** what the actual fuck 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((hey im really lonely rn and i just wanted to talk to someone u-u))

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** :(((( I’LL TALK TO YOU NOIRE!!!

 

**Sévéra:** WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT NORMALLY

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( ^u^ you’re always so sweet cythnia!!))

 

**Nahbro:** why havent u been talking in the chat

 

**Sévéra:** You missed so much juicy drama

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((oh ive been reading. I just dont talk....))

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** NOIRE!!! JUST!!! TALK!!!

 

**NahBro:** grace us with ur presence  

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** The mighty thunder goddess, whose frost-bitten heart had not felt such strong emotion in years, was touched by her comrades words. 

 

**Sévéra:** please stop roleplaying i’m going to lose it

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((B-but you know this is the only way i can express my thoughts properly...))

 

**Sévéra:** you are literally expressing ur thoughts properly right now by speaking NORMALLY!!!

 

**Sévéra:** YOU DON’T NEED TO RP TO SPEAK UR MIND!!!!! ITS OK!!!!

 

**NahBro:** even owain stopped doing it… mostly

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** “FOOLISH MORTALS!!” With her golden cape fluttering in the wind, the thunder goddess raises her hammer  and points it to the twin tailed fiend. “How DARE you tell me what I sh

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( whoopies!! >-<;; ))

 

**Sévéra:** oh my fucking god

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** Noire!!! I just had a great idea!!!!!!!!!!! :o

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** What if we taught you how to properly express your emotions??? :DDDD

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( But!! But…. oh dear…))

 

**NahBro:** Yea sev can teach u bitchiness, inigo can teach you horniness, gerome can teach you emo, laurent can teach you smartass, yarne can teach you furry, there’s more...

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((um… “inigo can teach you horniness”... hmmm… ))

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** yeah uh we could skip a few of those lessons bUT MOST IMPORTANTLY!! I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A HERO!!

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( but its so much easier to like.. Um… be flowery and descriptive.. Like a book!!))

 

**Sévéra:** NO IT ISNT. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CAN JUST FUCKING SAY IT IN 3 WORDS INSTEAD OF FUCKIGN 300!!

 

**NahBro:** why don’t you just….write a journal or something…..

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((Oh!! And then I can show you the journal instead!!!))

 

**NahBro:** thats not the point

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( oh I do have some writing samples right here lemme get them out!!!))

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** you talked properly right there just take off your ))’s

 

**Sévéra:** Noire this isn’t what we’re saying

 

**Blood and Thunder** : (( so i got some sci-fi, and then i got a depression era murder mystery with a detective lesbian couple, and then i got some slash fiction, and THEN i also got this really cute childrens story about a bunny ))

 

**Sévéra:**

 

****

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( Wh... Whats wrong… )) 

 

**NahBro:** ......oh honey…….

 

**Sévéra:**

****

 

**Odin Fart:** ((hey have i read that slash fic or is it new?))

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** OWAIN!!! We were just saying you dropped the RPing!!

 

**Odin Fart:** PEH, do you really think you can control what the dark lord, ODIN DARK? No! You fools, I shall do what i please, and whence that just so happens to align with your motives, do you DARE believe that you have TAMED me? That you have CONTROLLED the DARK FORCES, my CHAOTIC ENERGY???  PEH, and once again! PEH! 

 

GOOD DAY TO YOU, O TAMER OF PEGASI!! 

 

**Sévéra:**

****

 

**NahBro:** okay Owain Fart w/e u say

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((SEE!! Why can he do it and I can’t?? ;w; ))

 

**Sévéra:** hes beyond saving

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( is it really that bad??))

 

**Sévéra:** he could;ve just said “i do whatever the fuck I want” and be done with it

 

**Sévéra:**  BUT HE DIDN’T

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( .. but you read it all))

 

**NahBro:** I didnt even read it all and I actually RP with him

 

**Sévéra:**  WE ARE CHANGING THE TOPIC

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** AWHHH~ YOU DO CARE. 

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** ((wow sev! I didn’t expect that from you!!))

 

**Sévéra:** never fucking mind talk how ever you want i dont fucking CARE anymore

 

**NahBro:** noire you really need to stop using RPing as a crutch and just talk normally

 

**Odin Fart:** ((why are you such a tsundere LOL?))

 

**Blood and Thunder!:**  (( ehehehe tsun-tsun sev-sev ))

 

**Sévéra:** a fucking what now

 

**Odin Fart:** (( The Japanese term “tsundere” refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: “tsuntsun” (aloof or irritable) and “deredere” (lovestruck). ))

 

**Sévéra:** i am totally not a fucking sundere whatever

 

**Odin Fart:** ((TSUNDERE! WITH A T!!))

 

**NahBro:** oh what the fuck its a compound word. The more you know.

 

**Gay Rights!:** OwO whats this?

 

**NahBro:**

 

 

**Gay Rights!:** ASJKDAS d-don’t shoot pwease! 

 

**Sévéra:** i will fucking shoot you instead **loads my glock**

 

**Odin Fart:** ((AHA!!))

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( THATS THE SPIRIT!! ))

 

**NahBro:** i see you are a user of the traditional “doubledouble asterisksasterisks”

 

**Sévéra:** DIE im going to shoot all y’all

 

**NahBro:** all y’ain’t’d’ll’re’ve

 

**Gay Rights!:** What the fuck is that monster

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** Naturally, the esteemed Goddess has had trained in bullet deflection. However... “What in the ever loving fuck did you just say.” However, she has no experience with the pure gibberish that the manakete priested spouted. It eluded her. Perhaps? It was a way to ease the tension. Ah, alas. The twin-tailed menace will only have more fuel for her wrathful flames.

 

**Sévéra:** **bang bang bitch**

 

**NahBro:** thats not how asterisks work

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( shes right ))

 

**Sévéra: *** *fuck you shoots you** *****

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( :^( ))

 

**NahBro:** Noire.

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** (( Nah. ))

 

**Sévéra: **** :)**

 

**NahBro:** please fucking drop the parenthesis. Please.

 

**Sévéra:** **gonna keep using these if ya dont** **bang bang bitch**

 

**GayRights!:** **oooh I wanna join!!**

 

**Sévéra:** **whats up**

 

**Blood and Thunder!:** A glistening thunderbolt struck the earth, “DO NOT MAKE A MOCKERY OF MY SACRED CRAFT!” 

 

_ The Fucking Strong changed Blood and Thunder!’s nickname to Gaia Online Hoe _

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** Her eyes darkened, pupils turning into thunderbolts. “You...dare...disgrace….me….” She rumbled out, lightning sparking from her fingertips as rage consumed her. She felt her body lift off of the ground, not bound by the mere mortal ideas of gravity. “YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY! FOR MY ULTIMATE POWER COULD DESTROY YOU WITHIN A MILLISECOND. YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE THUNDER GODDESS?!”

 

**The Fucking Strong:** noire if u wanna fight me you can challenge me, a 3 time tekken champion, anytime.

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** The armored giantess held a point. While her blood was still boiling while going down to a simmer. Her person floated down back to the ground, “Perhaps my fury shall be wrought on another day...”

 

**Sévéra:** god i wanna die

 

**Sévéra:** **fuck i forgot the these**

 

**NahBro:** The these. 

 

**The Fucking Strong:** i….okay. 

 

**Indecisive Lesbian** : Wow!! That Was Certainly Something!

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** (( ^^’ How was that? ))

 

**NahBro:** I got my pizza rolls in one hand and my crushing disappointment in noire in the other

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** IT WAS,,, SOMETHING

 

**The Fucking Strong:** so its 4:21am and uh…. How long have you been at this??? Why do you have pizza rolls at this early in the morning??? Why doesnt noire talk normally again???

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** (( ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON BALL Z: ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS ANSWERED AND MORE!! ))

 

**Gay Rights!:** fuck we missed 420 

 

**NahBro:** FUCK!!!!!

 

**Sévéra:** **FUCJ**

 

**Sévéra:** **also i just realized Ive been wearing a face mask for 2 hours bc i forgot to take it off lol**

 

**The Fucking Strong:** 421 blaze it

 

**NahBro:** >:( 420 is serious kjelle

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** (( is that bad i have no clue ))

 

**Sévéra:** **no lmao just embarrassing**

 

**NahBro:** GOD CAN THE TWO OF YOU JUST SPEAK NORMALLY IM CRYING IN THE CLUB

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR THE CLUB

 

**NahBro:** its… a meme…

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** I thought it was “i dont know why im crying in the club”

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** ((OH FFUCK))

 

**The Fucking Strong:** w/e im gonna go for my morning run bye 

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** KJELLE YOU ARE MISSING IT THOUGH WE ARE MAKING A MAJOR BREAK THROUGH but have fun stay safe look both ways ^o^

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** THERE IS NO BREAKTHROUGH ITS A ONE TIME THING

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** FUCK

 

**Sévéra** : lmaoooooooooooo

 

**Sévéra:** It seems the tables have,,, TABLED.

 

**NahBro:** IT SEEMS THE TABLES HAVE TABLED 

 

**Sévéra:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gne8o_hfPuQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gne8o_hfPuQ)

 

**Gay Rights!:** are those the fucking jonas brothers

 

**Sévéra:** yes it fucking is

 

**Sévéra:** the jonas brothers invented music when they released Burnin’ Up in 2008

 

**NahBro:** EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS THAT YEAR  OF 3000 (2006) IS THE BEST JONAS BROTHER SONG

 

**NahBro:** I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

**Sévéra:** fuck you Year 3000 paved the way but Burnin’ Up was the song that created music

 

**NahBro:** you are a fucking fool. An imbecile. You dense fucker do you have coral in your ears or what

 

**Sévéra:** are you 80 years old who fucking talks like that

 

**Gay Rights!:** a heated debate in the jonas brothers fansite in fucking 2009

 

**Gay Rights!:** who are you and what have you done with my friends

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** It has seems the discourse of which song from eras long past has diverted the attention away from the thunder goddess. Lurking in the shadows she hopes that they eventually forget over the petty and trifulling bullshit that was at hand. 

 

**Sévéra:** fuck you this is serious

 

**NahBro:** literally go fuck yourself 

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:**

****

 

**Sévéra:** who the fuck is that

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** me bitch 

 

**NahBro:** oh noire is being kinnie on main?

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

 

**Nah Bro:** :3c

 

**Gay Rights!:** hehehe

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** THE FUCK YOU LAUGHING AT?

 

**Sévéra:** ??????????????????????????????????

 

**Indecisive Lesbian:** Noire I;m so proud of you!!!! <333333

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:** ???

 

**Sévéra:** I Am So Lost. 

 

**NahBro:** loss.jpg

 

**Sévéra:** die

 

**Gaia Online Hoe:**

|  ||

|| |_

****

**Sévéra:**

....................../´¯/)    
....................,/¯../    
.................../..../    
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸    
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\    
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')    
.........\\.................'...../    
..........''...\\.......... _.·´    
............\\..............(    
..............\\.............\\...

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....................../´¯/)   
> ....................,/¯../   
> .................../..../   
> ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸   
> ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\   
> ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')   
> .........\\.................'...../   
> ..........''...\\.......... _.·´   
> ............\\..............(   
> ..............\\.............\\...

**Author's Note:**

> does anyone even care abt fea anymore lol we sure do


End file.
